Bug Soup

A Broth of Rambling Thoughts ( with some morsels of 'silly' thrown in for flavor)

Thursday, April 28, 2005

The Richer the Prettier

I have this theory that people with money are better looking.

No, hear me out on this, I have points and stuff to back it up. Really.

So I know that the standard of what "Beauty" is in our society changes a lot, but this has no bearing on my theory at all. I’ve also heard the whole thing about good-looking people being more successful. That isn’t what I mean.

People with money are better looking, then the poor.

First I guess I should explain what I think of as beautiful, and this applies to men too ( though they aren’t on the cover of every magazine next to the checkout line, so it is maybe a little more about women).
I am talking purely physical beauty for the purpose of this posting. I know that beauty and attractiveness is more than just the outer shell. I know that wit, and wisdom and humor and kindness are beautiful, but I am talking about outer appearances now. The shallow stuff.

I don’t think size, height, shape, color, ethnicity or age matter as much, as Health.
What all beautiful people have in common, is that they look healthy.
Beautiful is healthy skin, no matter what it’s shade. Beautiful is good teeth and healthy gums, even if they aren’t perfectly straight. Beautiful is shiny hair, no matter it’s texture or shade .
Beautiful is good posture, and a confident stance. Beautiful is bright clear eyes, whether they are blue or brown or gray. Physical beauty really comes in all sizes, colors and ages.
But healthy people, look better. Healthy is pretty.

So my theory about money and looks.
People with money are able to eat healthier foods, able to afford good vitamin suppliments , tend to be thinner and in better shape. They can afford a gym membership if they want, or a personnel trainer. The children of people with money tend to eat better foods, healthier foods, (trust me, fresh produce costs more then hot dogs, beans and frozen french fries)
People with money can afford better skin care, better soaps and shampoos, better magical wrinkle creams, good make-up, better sunscreen and good nail polish. They can afford the occasional manicure, pedicure or a good massage.
They can see a Dentist, afford eye surgery, contact lenses or more stylish glasses.
People with money can afford a good haircut, and can afford to get it done every 4 to 6 weeks.
They are better groomed.
People with money can afford to have that weird thing removed from their face, or from their kid’s face.
People with money tend to get more excercise , they have more leisure time, they are able to afford a vacation and relax, or maybe just have the energy left at the end of the day to take a walk .
People with money can afford clothes that fit, clothes that are in style and clothes that compliment their shape.
People with good shoes tend to stand taller.
And this is just a guess, but if you can pay your bills, I imagine you sleep better at night. Rested people are brighter people. People who sleep well, smile more., people who smile are more attractive.
So my theory is that rich people are better looking, because they are healthier, because they are better rested, because they can afford to dress well, and be nicely groomed.
( and I didn't even get into the whole lazer hair removal thing)

But for the life of me, I still can’t explain Donald Trump, Michael Jackson or Joan Rivers.

Sunday, April 24, 2005

My Delusional Butt

My daughter is so funny. I'm going to post all about her another time, at 13 she is quite the interesting character, but today I just want to talk about her gas.

I talked her into going to the bank with me yesterday, she didn't want to go, but I didn't want to go by myself, so I told her she'd better get the dishwasher unloaded before I got back. She decided to ride with me.
So we are at the bank drive thru thing, and she is talking , just jabber jabbering, I am enjoying listening to her til this horrbile smell suddenly fills the car.
It was BAD.
No, bad doesn't even describe it. It was like raw sewage in the august sun for a week with some rotted broccoli on top. The entire car smelled so bad that I started gagging and rolling down the windows.

Buggy- OMG! What is that smell? Did that come out of you?

Katie - You farted

Buggy- I did not! Oh my GAWD! * gagging*

Katie - You smelt it

Buggy- People in Dallas smelt it! That is the worst smell ever!

Katie - *rolls up the window on her side and laughs* Wasn't me, must have been you.

Buggy- *rolls all the windows back down, and clicks the window lock, while still gagging*
Katie, geeze! I would know if I farted. What the heck did you eat?

Katie- She who smelt it, dealt it.

Buggy- Stop it! I did not.

Katie- She who denied it, supplied it. Roll my window back up.

Buggy- I'm dying over here, no windows! Just admit you farted.

Katie- You farted! She who names it and blames it, retains it.

Buggy- What does that mean?

( by this time we are driving back home and the stench is still making my eyes water, as I try to drive and hang my head out the window at the same time)

Buggy- just admit it, you know you have a really bad habit of not taking responsibilty for your actions, that is not a good thing. *gagcoughcoughgag*

Katie - Not my fart, not my action, not responsible. You're delusional.

Buggy- No, you are delusional, you are the one who knows she farted and won't admit to it.

Katie- Your BUTT is delusional , that's why it's making those bad smells. Can I roll my window up now? *giggles*

Buggy- No!

Katie - *singing* smelt it dealt it smelt it dealt it.

Oh, her father will be so proud.

Saturday, April 16, 2005

Old People and Sex

I am gonna get a bit personnal in this entry, so if that ooks you, skip it.

I have learned something ugly about myself.
I complain in the bedroom.
I am sure I've done this for a long time, but I never really heard myself til yesterday.
It was awful.
I'm awful, horrible .
My husband is home for the first time in 3 weeks, and when we get alone time, I complain.
It's not what you may be thinking, I have no problem with my Lovers attention to me.
Nope, he is fine. I complain about stupid shit.

Example, this is me making love.

"Ouch, you're on my hair"
" Owww, don't put any weight on my back, that hurts"
"Could you shave? Your stubble is scrathing my neck!"
" Don't lean that way, it hurts my knees"
" That's too tickly, stop it"
" Can you not put all your weight on my hips?"
" That isn't comfortable, owww"
" That hurts my hip"
"Your elbow is in my ribs"
"Lean the other way, that hurts"
" Ohh my bad knee"

Oh MY!
I am the worst lover EVER!
I never knew how bad, til all of a sudden yesterday, I heard myself, and I couldn't stop.
I love my husband, I wanted to have a special sexy afternoon with him. ( I wanted to have the whole day, but ended up having to work) .
I am NOT good in bed!
My bones hurt, I can't turn the way we would like.
I complain the WHOLE time!
I am not sexy.
I am bad at the sex thing.
I am not sweet and loving, like I thought I was.
Oh My GAWD, I am a complaining BITCH!

Instead of loving sobs and breathless oaths, I am complaining that my knees hurt.
I love to have my neck kissed, and I heard myself complaining about it.
Poor Steve.
He has his faults, but he still sings me love songs. He puts up with me, he loves me, and I am BAD in BED!
He never told me I was so awful, but yesterday I heard myself.
I am awful.
I tried not to , but then heard myself complaining again.

I know why old people don't have sex.
It isn't because they can't "do the deed" , it's because they are afraid to break a hip.
It's because their knees ache and the arthritis in their back makes the entire act painful.
It's because they are so tired of hearing their spouse bitch that they stop trying.

Friday, April 15, 2005

MY Zuma Man

Hubby is home!
I just want to hug him and hold him and show him I missed him.
( oh crap, I forgot to paint my toenails!)
I took tomorrow off work so we'd have a whole day with just the two of us.
No Child, no Brother, no canine beasts running about our feet.
Just me and Steve, all day.
Well, that isn't going to happen ( best layed plans and all that)

So Hubby is home, but why am I here?

Because my brother has been talking to him since he got here.
My Brother seems to need a parent, and tonight, it's Dad.
And my day off work tomorrow?
Not going to happen.
See there was only one person who knew the cashier job on my line, and she was really sick yesterday, so they crash coursed me into it, just in case.
As of today? I am a Cashier LunchLady.
I had to run the register ( our manager doesn't even know it) all by myself, about 400 kids.
I did good, I was only a dollar off. ( I must have entered something twice)

So since my partner is sick ( ER sick, kidney failure sick, no insurance so she put off going to the Doctor sick) I think I have to work tomorrow.
I will gladly work for Jamie, she is solid gold.
But it may have been my only day alone with Steve for months, already people are taking his time away from me.
He leaves for work again Monday at 6 a.m.

I have to go to bed , KatieBug needs to get up at 6 to get on the Bus at 7:30.
Maybe I'll get to see my husband tomorrow.

( for those who think I am a wimp, I have told my brother to go to bed so I could be alone with my husband, at least 5 times)

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Vandals ( and some other random thoughts)

So I'm driving to work yesterday, and the stop sign near my corner says STOP penis.
Okay so that made me smirk, but the next sign says STOP hairy balls.
I don't condon vandalism, but I laughed.
Then I started wondering who would do that? Are their militant man haters in my town? Self loathing teenaged boys? Depilatory specialists?
I've decided it must be those Celibacy Promise kids. There was an article in the local paper this weekend about their group, so I figure they are speading the word.

In other sex news.
Brittney is pregnant, and I say, WHO THE FUCK CARES?
Waste of news time. I can't believe the Today even did a story on what kind of Mommy she will be.
Good lord! Like she is the first selfcentered, no talent, rich twit celebrity to ever gets knocked up.
I'll tell you what kind of Mommy she will be, the kind that pierces her 2 yr olds belly button, and parades her designer clad little precious in front of every camera she can find.

Also on the Today Show this morning, Suzanne Somers wrote another book telling women how to stay sexy and beautiful. How many pages does it take to say, Lots of money and plastic surgery?

Off to work now. Call me silly, but I'm bored with canned ravioli.
I'll keep an eye out for interesting sign taggings.

Monday, April 11, 2005

Feeding people

Only 30 more days til the end of the school year.
Six more weeks of feeding the Future.
The kids have gotten rude, they don't follow the rules, and 'please' and 'thank you' are no longer part of their vocabulary.
I try to remind myself that these people are someone's babies. That these beasts will someday be decent people ( most of them). It's getting difficult, moreso each day.

I will smile, I will use gentle words and feed them with kindness, while hoping that across town someone is treating my child the same way.
Six more weeks, 30 more days, just 3500 more servings of popcorn chicken.
I think I can do it!

Sunday, April 10, 2005

Little Miracle

Ask and you shall receive, I guess.
Not the miracle I was hoping for earlier today , but a wonderful one I didn't expect.

My siblings ( the sis and the bro) haven't really spoken in a long time. A long time.
They really haven't gotten along for the last several years. In fact I would even refer to their relationship as estranged. They had their reasons.
It was hard for my Mom, one of her wishes was for the two of them to start fresh and be close again.
I don't know if that is going to happen, they both are strong willed, but I have hope.
Anyway, the little miracle.
Was talking to my Sister, and handed the phone to my Brother.
They talked! For a good half an hour! They seemed to have a really good conversation from the laughter I could hear from my end.
They have their problems, but we all need each other
I needed something special today, I needed a miracle, evn a little one. I think they did too.
I'll take this!
Thanks Mom!

Dog Herd Update

Don't play with the dogs, they'll put yer eye out!

Oh yes, it's all fun and puppy games til they blind someone.
The little one that lives inside, Chance, jumped up to greet my brother and scratched his eye.
Hopefully it won't prevent Kurt from starting his new job tomorrow, or like permanantly disable him.
Offered to take him to the Doctor yesterday, and the ER today. He refused , so what can I do?
I can pray for a miracle recovery is about all I can do.

Have I mentioned that I don't like the dogs?
I hate them!

lost a friend today

An old friend , from a long time ago has died.
My first thought was how to tell my Mom. He was her friend first, a family friend second, and she adored David, and his wife, Renee.
But I don't have to tell Mom, she knows.
I like to think of Mom on Heaven's Welcoming Commitee, greeting friends and family as they pass over. Holding them again, like she did in life.
Mom had her troubles, but she was a giver, she loved her friends with her whole heart.
Our friend David was a giver too, a kind and generous man, who loved my Mom and her kids like we were his own family.

My sister Deena, is having a hard time. She did keep in touch with David and Renee, and had just talked to him last week. She's had a hard year.

My Love goes out to his family, he was a good man and will be missed.


I had a terrific entry all writen up the other day.
I was thoughtful and insightful, and said wonderful things about my husband and child.
I even worked out some stuff for myself.
Then I clicked the "preview" button, and *POOF*
All gone.
It's the second one I've lost.
So I probably won't be previewing or spell checking anymore.
Keep that in mind in case my postings look messier than usual.

Monday, April 04, 2005

The Herd of Dogs

Day 24 of the Dog invasion.

The herd that lives in my garage has eaten a sofa.
Well, not the entire sofa, and it's sort of love seat sized, but I liked it and used to sit on it before the herd moved in.
So they ate the arm off of it, right down to the wood. And then they smiled and wagged their doggy tails like they expected to be rewarded for killing the big bad sofa. I mean it was obviously threatening the welfare of the entire household. It's dead now, can't harm anyone.

I went to get something out of the freezer yesterday and they attacked me. Jumping on me and scratching me with their claws, wanting to be petted and told they are "good". I guess they don't recognize me yet I am the one who wont pet them , the one who never pets them. The one who just yells "DOWN!" about a dozen times while leaping and running spastically across the room.

Oh, and they are shedding. So much fur in there that my eyes swell just thinking about it.
At one point I thought they'd killed one of their own, there was such a large pile of fur on the floor.
I was hoping this fur loss would make them smaller, but so far, not so much.

There's like 10, or maybe 8 of them! Or 3, and only 2 actually live in the garage. But it seems like more I swear it!

I miss my sofa.
I want to park my car in the garage again.
I don't want to have to run a gauntlet of wild beasts just to get a soda.
Stooopid Dogs!!!

Sunday, April 03, 2005

6 Inches

I lost 6 inches of my hair last week.
Well ,I didn't actually lose it, I know where it went.
I feel lighter, I have layers, and I think I'm gonna be a redhead soon!
( soon as I have 7 extra bucks for hair color)
It's still below my shoulders.
They say you grow 3 inches of hair a year.
So I cut off the last 2 years of my life.
Goodbye to those 2 years!
Hello new me!

My Hubby Left Me

For a JOB!
He lives in hotel rooms now, for 3 weeks at a time, then home for a few days, before back to work.
So far from where we were.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't enjoying how much he misses us.
This job has done something nothing else has.
We miss each other, we appreciate what we have again.
You'd think with all we've been through...

In the last 5 years...
*We've moved
*Hubby had brain surgery to repair a hemorage due to an anyersm ( he almost didn't survive, and had difficult months of recovery)
*We had legal troubles ( which drained our finances)
*He lost his job
* My Mom came to live with us after being dignosed with terminal cancer
* We went 3 months without any income at all, drained our savings and cashed in our 401K
*We came close to breaking up ( closer than I have wanted to admit, even to myself)
* We had houseguests (family, not fun)
* Mom died in my arms
* My heart broke
* Our utilities were shut off ( at various times)
* Steve was suffering from depression, but wouldn't admit it

And all these things should have brought us closer as a family, but they didn't. I could feel our foundation shaking apart.
This job takes him away from us, yet makes him appreciate us. Makes us all appreciate what we've been through.
Over the last 2 years I felt like I'd lost everything, except Steve and Katie, and even that was shakey.
All the financial security is gone.
No Savings Account, no Health Insurance, no steady income.
I've felt like I'm on a tightrope, and I just know I'm gonna fall off.

Steve's new job may save us.

Already I feel hopeful, and hope has not been something I've been familier with in a long time.
I've been so afraid to Hope.
Thank goodness I remember what it's like to be a 'glass half full' person.
My glass is half full now, and I'm waiting for a refill.

Green Flag- Go!

I guess I am finally stepping out with my own place.
It wasn't a matter of not having enough to say, it was having too much and not knowing where to start. Kind of like housecleaning. There is so much to do I get lost and can't get started. ( and trust me, my house is as cluttered and dusty as my life)

I've been coasting along in neutral for way too long. Not taking steps to make any changes in my life, just barely doing what needs to be done each day.
But I've found that life has a way of forcing you to make changes if you stagnate too long. Not only do doors slam closed , but you get pushed out of the windows that open.
So I've had a bad couple of years, and have been sleepwalking through most of it, it's time to wake up, and do something.
Take charge, take inventory, take a walk in the sunshine.

( Thanks to the friends that encouraged me to get started, and helped me pick my Title)