Bug Soup

A Broth of Rambling Thoughts ( with some morsels of 'silly' thrown in for flavor)

Saturday, June 13, 2009

I Get By

With a little help from my friends

So things are good with me, and mine.
Hubby quit drinking 2 weeks ago, but before anyone cheers, he is trying to do it on his own, without medical attention, and without a program or a plan.
Things have been better, but I fear that he will fail without something more.
I worry, but then I always worry.
The most useless of emotions is, worry.
It is.
Whatever will happen, will happen. Anticipated stress over something not yet real, is worry.
But I do it. I worry. I lose sleep over stuff I can't control.
I am hopeful that Steve's recovery will work, because our family needs it to.
And frankly, I'd gotten afraid that he might accidentally drink himself to death. It had gotten that bad.
But it's better now, so much better.
And he sometimes does little things, little thoughtful things, that show me it's better, that he is getting better.

That's me, ever hopeful.

I guess I need to learn to Let it Be.

Money - That's What I Want!

Money can't buy me love.
But it can pay the bills, and we have had troubles making the ends meet at the end of the month, and sometimes in the middle. I am oh so grateful, oh so thankful that Hubby still has his job, but the cut in overtime has cost us about $ 400 a month. At first it was easy, now it is catching up with us.
Have you ever had one of those months when everything breaks at the same time?
Have you ever had one of those months at the same time that you were having a broke month?
Oh we're okay, we got enough to get us through, oh wait, what? The car broke? Oh okay, we'll juggle this and then we'll ... what? The truck battery? Okay, we can borrow 50 from the kid til payday, wah? Not the A/C, it's 95 degrees with 90% humidity! Oh Okay, we'll ummm, we'll lie around naked under the ceiling fan til we get paid next week, and we'll juggle this bill, the water is due and the electric is late because we stalled it last month , but we can make it til ... WHAT? The garage door opener broke? *sigh*

And that all would be temporary stress, until I wake up at 3 a.m. and realize that my kid just became a senior in High School, and that she still can't drive, and we have to get another car because she is scared of the stick shift and I'm not sure she has the right social skills, and we have NO COLLEGE FUND!
Working class hero, my ass!
The working class hero wakes up in the middle of the night in a sweat.
And we are doing better than most, we don't have to worry about losing the house, and we have no credit card debt. We haver no credit, but we have no debt. We still have jobs.

Here Comes The Sun

But it always gets better.
It does. I know.
The storms come, and it's hard, but the sun rises.
And you have to just get up in the morning.
Sometimes, getting up in the morning makes you a success. Just that.

My Mom used to tell me, " Stand up straight, put on some lipstick, and do it!"
That's it, right?
Put your face on and go get it. Just get up and get on with it.
Make your own sun, shine your own light.

Let it Be!


Blogger kim (weltek) said...

*hugs* I'm so glad the drinking has at least become something he puts an effort into. That's huge. I hope it keeps you and Katie safe.

Don't sweat the college fund thing. Community colleges can be inexpensive and she can take out loans. Start talking to financial aid people now at a few schools you are considering, just to know your options before you both start freaking out. I had no college savings. My dad took out a few Federal PLUS loans for me to help with housing and books. I had a few small scholarships and took out Stafford Loans for the rest. I'm still paying for it, but I have a good job and we make ends meet. It's not your ultimate responsibility to pay for Katie's education, just help her when she needs it. *hugs*

2:58 PM  
Blogger yvonne said...

Sending you and your family lots of love and good vibes.

Please know you are loved, Buggy, by many, many people. Myself included.

All you need is love (but some good luck and a few breaks help too, huh?).

6:59 AM  
Blogger cq said...

hey bugger! i miss you, lady. sounds like you're stressed as ever. :( *hugs*

9:41 AM  
Blogger Puffy said...

Buggy, you are the most amazing writer! *hugs*

1:26 AM  
Blogger Silvergirl said...

Thanks for filling us in on your goings on. I worry about you, but I know you will always come up shining.

Katie-bug has so many things in common with my DD. I'm going to put up a blog entry about our latest visit to a Psychologist concerning treating her social anxiety. The guy was so darned patronizing, but I'm sure he thought he was impressing us.

Anyway, keep up your chin, Bug. You know we do care about you. I think the fact that Steve is trying to change is remarkable.

Have Katie check out the community college site for ways to obtain scholarships. Our local CC has a whole list of scholarships, and ways to submit an essay to find the right one for your needs. We haven't done this yet, but I have to push DD into writing it (not a long essay), because we are finding it harder to pay for the tuition as time goes on, and I'm so tired of having to scrimp on things.

Anyway, *hugs*

11:25 PM  

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