Bug Soup

A Broth of Rambling Thoughts ( with some morsels of 'silly' thrown in for flavor)

Friday, October 26, 2007

Natural Light Has 3.2 Carbs Per Serving - 5 Beers = A Snack

It's an update!

I can't believe how long it's been since I wrote.
But there is something you should know about me
I? Am lazy.

So I have excuses.
Doctor appts and work and excercise ( oh wait, I blew the excercise thing off this week, so that doesn't count) , I have good excuses.
I count everything now.
I count carbs mostly, and fat grams, and hours since I tested my sugar, and hours til I test my sugar again. I count minutes on the treadmill, I count how many days and hours I work, and how much time I have to eat between work and Doc appts. I count how many hours I get to sleep, and how many hours til I get to sleep again.
Diabetes, has made me a bit OCD.

I took 6 weeks of classes.
How to eat, what to eat, when to eat. I learned about medications, and the scary ( oh so scary) things that diabetes and uncontrolled high blood sugar counts can do to my body. I learned that since I am young to be dignosed with Type2 , I will outlive my pancreas, and insulin is in my future.
I was the youngest person in my class. I was also the only person to get 100 on the final exam. (They made us take a test on what we learned, can you believe it? )
I got a free packet of Splenda infused oatmeal, and my insurance got billed for 85 bucks a class.
I am thankful and grateful everyday for insurance coverage. I had a diabetes class and two Doctors appointments this week, I am ever so thankful.

I'm tired of being a diabetic, and I've only known about it for a couple months.
The truth is, it's fucking boring. It's boring and annoying.
I am supposed to look at my feet everyday, inspect them, check the bottoms with a mirror!
What is more boring than that?
( Did I mention I'm lazy?)

I have yet to figure out how to work it to my advantage.
I tried telling Hubby that I wasn't allowed to clean the catbox due to my, Medical Condition, but I started to laugh in the middle of my fake explanation , so that didn't work.
My house is still a mess, my life is still disorganized, someone still has to do the grocery shopping and the laundry, and that someone can't eat candy anymore.
I could take a nap, but the truth is, being active is healthier for me.
Sometimes though, I'd like to just lie down and say , "Fuck it! I'm sick, leave me alone."

I don't drink anymore, and I really don't miss it very much.
But tonight, I have had 3 beers.
That's 9.6 grams of carbs.
I'm allowed that, I can work it into my 'meal plan' , but alcohol has no nutritional value. Empty calories, nonhealthful carbs, no benefit, all that shit. ( I got an A in diabetes education class remember)
But sometimes I just want to feel normal, sometimes I just wish I was kinda buzzed and a little numb.

So enough about me. Laugh!

Love you all.
And extra special *HUGS* to my California peeps, friends and family.
I get it. I understand like no one who hasn't lived there ever will.
I know what those winds feel like, on your skin, in your head. I know what those fires smell like. I know the fear, the agitation, the restlessness, the helplessness.
I know that whatever caused the spark doesn't matter, it's still a Natural Disaster.
Sending Love!

Be Safe ALL!