Bug Soup

A Broth of Rambling Thoughts ( with some morsels of 'silly' thrown in for flavor)

Saturday, April 16, 2005

Old People and Sex

I am gonna get a bit personnal in this entry, so if that ooks you, skip it.

I have learned something ugly about myself.
I complain in the bedroom.
I am sure I've done this for a long time, but I never really heard myself til yesterday.
It was awful.
I'm awful, horrible .
My husband is home for the first time in 3 weeks, and when we get alone time, I complain.
It's not what you may be thinking, I have no problem with my Lovers attention to me.
Nope, he is fine. I complain about stupid shit.

Example, this is me making love.

"Ouch, you're on my hair"
" Owww, don't put any weight on my back, that hurts"
"Could you shave? Your stubble is scrathing my neck!"
" Don't lean that way, it hurts my knees"
" That's too tickly, stop it"
" Can you not put all your weight on my hips?"
" That isn't comfortable, owww"
" That hurts my hip"
"Your elbow is in my ribs"
"Lean the other way, that hurts"
" Ohh my bad knee"

Oh MY!
I am the worst lover EVER!
I never knew how bad, til all of a sudden yesterday, I heard myself, and I couldn't stop.
I love my husband, I wanted to have a special sexy afternoon with him. ( I wanted to have the whole day, but ended up having to work) .
I am NOT good in bed!
My bones hurt, I can't turn the way we would like.
I complain the WHOLE time!
I am not sexy.
I am bad at the sex thing.
I am not sweet and loving, like I thought I was.
Oh My GAWD, I am a complaining BITCH!

Instead of loving sobs and breathless oaths, I am complaining that my knees hurt.
I love to have my neck kissed, and I heard myself complaining about it.
Poor Steve.
He has his faults, but he still sings me love songs. He puts up with me, he loves me, and I am BAD in BED!
He never told me I was so awful, but yesterday I heard myself.
I am awful.
I tried not to , but then heard myself complaining again.

I know why old people don't have sex.
It isn't because they can't "do the deed" , it's because they are afraid to break a hip.
It's because their knees ache and the arthritis in their back makes the entire act painful.
It's because they are so tired of hearing their spouse bitch that they stop trying.


Blogger Asrai said...

Oh Buggah, is it wrong of me to be rolling on the floor over this? Yes? Ok, my bad!

I guess if HE'S not complaining about your complaining, it's all good...right?!!

4:54 AM  
Blogger Supes said...

Let me give you some reassurance from the man perspective:

If he's actually having sex? Unless you're pushing him off...um, mid-stroke, he ain't gonna complain about nothing. He's just happy that he's having sex.

Sure, the cooing and purring is nice, but he's trying to please you as much as you're trying to please him and "adjusting" for your comfort is a big part of that.

I had a partner that was pretty vocal at one time. I found that if before we did the actual act, I orally finished her? There was no complaining during. Just a suggestion.

Wow, that was alot of information wasn't it? I'm blushing over here.

7:15 AM  
Blogger Asrai said...

Supes? Blushing?


Sorry....I'll try not to be so "vocal" over here! lol

4:25 PM  
Blogger Buggy said...

I'm pretty proud that I made Supes Blush.
I'm writing that on my calender.

HUbby didn't read this yet ( I don't think) but we talked about it and he says I don't complain too much. He just loves me.
Lucky Bug!

9:38 PM  
Blogger Kimmah said...

You make me laugh, Buggy!

12:11 PM  
Anonymous Sharkie said...

Old People and Sex? I know nothing of this but you mad me laugh!

Yay! Buggy blogs!


2:11 PM  
Blogger Jolene said...

Not to be all, "me too," but you make me laugh, Buggy! :)

5:43 PM  
Blogger Blue said...

I remember sex!
Lemme see..19**
It's a buggah when the memory goes, innit?

2:13 AM  
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11:29 PM  

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