Bug Soup

A Broth of Rambling Thoughts ( with some morsels of 'silly' thrown in for flavor)

Wednesday, November 30, 2005


Can't help it.
Not even trying to be cute.
Young men have been smiling and flirting with me all over North Texas.
Young men.
( I'm pretty sure I have never served lunch to any of these guys)

Even my Mother in Law noticed it!

We had a great time at the in-laws place, by the way.
( maybe more on that later, it was fun, like a vacation! )

So, the cute boys story..,
At one point at Dave And Busters ( a resturant/ game place, kinda like a Chuckie Cheese for grown-ups) a young ( 20's!) guy was next to me at the trivia game , was very friendly, laughing and joking with me. Later, the young men at the sporting goods store, where we took Kate to climb the big wall , were joking with me.
So flash forward to Friday night as we left the resturant and I accidentally tried to put my sweater on inside out ( total dork move) and some really cute young guys waiting outside stopped me from making a huge fashion faux pas.
I thanked them, made a joke they laughed at, they joked back, and then Dad walked out and asked what was funny.
I said, " Oh nothing, just young men flirting with me!"
And that was when Diane, ( the step MIL) said, " You know that has been happening all day!"
And I realised , she was right.
She and I laughed about it.
I said, " Must be my make-up!"

But really, I'm not hot enough for young men to be friendly with me, unless they are just being friendly. ( Do cute young men just be friendly for no reason?)
Oh sure, I look pretty good for my age. I look younger than my age, actually.
But I am about 40 pounds over, middle aged cute.
I 'm the gal who would be hot, if she didn't have 2 chins.
I'm not fat, exactly, I'm just way over my " hot" weight.

So I'm not sure what these goodlooking young ( did I mention they were YOUNG) men were thinking.
Maybe I seem approachable. Maybe I still have the smell of french fry serving Lunch Lady on me. ( Guys love food )

Then today, I am at the local WalMart, and this really cute ( reeeeeeaaallly cute) about 25 year old guy , smiles at me and says, " Hi!"
And he gives me "the eye" .
You know the one, like the sexy eye.
I fear I may be emiting some high potency pheremones.
I can't explain it!
I don't even dress good.
Today I was wearing the Ugly Uniform. ( which is , in FACT, the worlds ugliest work uniform)
It's not as if I smell of sex or anything, I'm not even good at sex when I get it.

But for some reason, young men like me. They smile at me, they talk to me.
I don't get it.

It's a mystery.
I'm not going to do anything about it, but I'm not going to complain either.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Holiday Shopping - Part One - The Grocery Store

Angel Of the Aisle

I was at the Grocery today, at 4:30 , two days before Thanksgiving.

It was a madhouse!

We are going to Steve's folks Thursday, and I am bringing a pie and a sweet potato dish,
so I needed a few things, but didn't need to do the whole shopping.
Figured I could bop in quickly and get back out. *LAUGH*

It wasn't too bad actually, though it was really crowded.

So there I am in the baking aisle, with about half the folks who live in my town.
It is cart gridlock, and though folks are trying to be nice, we are all trying to dance around each other for what we need, and it's hard.

Redhead Lady accidentially taps my heel with her basket when I stop short ( no brakelights on my butt) for an old guy who bent over right in the path of my cart. Luckily it barely tapped me and didn't hurt. She looked horrified, and apolagized like crazy, I smiled told her it was fine, didn't hurt me, and it was crowded , so no problem.
Redhead Lady told me that she'd just come from WalMart, and that it was worse over there, "And they're out of everything.!"
"It's that Season." I said with a smile.

And ya know, I was feeling really good. Not at all stressed, the crowded ailse wasn't bothering me, so I just kept smiling. Some of those poor folks looked like they had been shopping all day, but me? I felt fine.

So I'm trying to find what I need, and CuteLady in Scrubs says to me.
"Do you have any idea where the seasoned bread crumbs are? I've been looking all over."
"I'd think they'd be on this ailse somewhere"
And there they were, right behind her head.
She thanked me like I'd really helped her, saying she was so tired she was lost.
I smile again ( still) and tell her, " You're Welcome."

Then a woman in her 50's who looks just like June Cleaver says to me. " Since you're so helpful, maybe you could help me find the Martha White mexican style cornbread, I've been looking all over for it."
Well sure I could! In fact if I hadn't been standing in front of it she may have seen it.
I turned around, looked at the shelf, picked up what she needed and handed it to her.

That was the moment June declared me the "Angel of the Aisle!"
Cute Scrub Lady, and Redhead Lady both started laughing, I started laughing.
I said, " Hey, maybe I should just stay here for awhile and be helpful!"
They all agreed that was an excellant idea.
They moved on the other ailses with smiles all around. I finished grabbing my spices and finished up in the store.

As I was leaving, June Cleaver, who was in the next check out over, wished me a Happy Thanksgiving with a warm smile.

One other small thing.
In the parking lot as I was putting my stuff in the trunk there was an old guy next to me putting his stuff in the back of a pick-up. He looked kinda grumpy, so I didn't say anything to him. Then just as I was finishing up and closing my trunk, he came over and took my basket, smiled and said,
" Let me put this up for you."
He took my cart back to the corral for me!
I said " Thank You!" with a big smile, and waved at him as we left the parking lot.

In closing, 3 things.

It's the season!

Don't you wish you lived in my town!?

Happy Thanks giving!

Saturday, November 19, 2005

I Made it Through the Week!

Jesus Girl tried to kill me ( and everyone else, though I was the only one who ended up in the ER)

I saw a friend I'd never met, make a special vow ( oh so beautiful!).
Sharing her joy, even over the net, even from so far, made me feel warm and close to her.
Made me feel warm and close with the others that shared her joy.
Seeing her take her vows, made me think of my own.
There is nothing more powerful than Love.
I am so thankful, that Gloria and Shawn chose to share their moment with us.
Love lifts us up! May their life together be full of Love and comfortable times.

I learned that I have powers. I can guide people. With good thoughts, a hug, and a few well chosen words, I can make some folks do right, act right, avoid conflict. There is magic in listening.

Did I mention that Jesus girl tried to kill me?
Did I mention that she is dumb as a post?

I learned that memory is a powerful thing.
That shared memories are even more powerful.
My childhood friend, watched her daughter turn 16 tonight. I am so glad we talked tonight, we share that magic time, she and I.
That magic time between girl and woman. We knew each other before we knew who we really were, when we were becoming the women we are.

My True , made me beautiful today!
It's not about the make-up, it's that she makes me care about how I look.
It's that she makes me excited again about being pretty. She reminds me that pretty never gets old.

My brother is fun to hang out with. I know I have bitched about him living with me , ( mostly about his dogs being here) but he is just about all right .
I love him so. I enjoy spending time with him.
He knows me like no one else does, we share a childhood.
He knows me, he knows why I am how I am.
Funny, my sister thinks we had the worst childhood ever, my brother thinks we had the best.
I know that we had really good times, and really bad times. We didn't have an easy time, ever.
But we had love.
I am Thankful for Kurt.
If it wasn't for that smelly nasty pack of beasts, I'd keep him forever in my guest room.
He is good to my kid, he is good to me, he gets along great with my husband, he is the perfect brother.
The perfect friend.

The anniversary of my Mom's passing is coming up. Last year on Thanksgiving, she was in the hospital , a week later she was home, by Dec 5th she was gone.

December has always been weird.
The 3rd is my brothers birthday, the 5th is my step mother in laws birthday, the 7th is my Aunts birthday and my wedding anniversary ( and the day my older half- sister died in 2003) .
The 11th is my sisters birthday, the 14th is my mom's birthday, the 16th is my husbands birthday, the 26th is Hubby's grandpa's birthday.
We have tons of other cousins and friends with December days.
I hate December now.
I don't want to, but I do.

Wake me up, when December ends...

But I lived through this week.
I had good times this week.
I laughed and I loved, and I got a chest x-ray!
I remebered what it was like to make vows. I remembered what it was like to be young.
I remembered that , I love so many people in my life, those I've hugged, and those I've yet to hug.
So many people make my heart warm, make my life special, make it all interesting.

I made it through the week, smiling by the end of it.

If I take a dive, in December?
Don't worry, I'll be back.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Monday - Arrrrrrrgh!

I really REALLY , don't want to go to work today.

My procrastination has caught up with me.
I have no clean panties. My daughter has like 50 or 60 pairs of panties, I have none.
I don't even have any bad elastic granny panties left. I could have sworn I put a bunch of panties in the wash wth my work clothes, but no.
I have to go to work in a thong, I'm not pleased.

I have to chop and slice enough tomatoes for the week when I get to work. 150 salads a day, figure it out. I have to slice a whole flipping case of tomatoes. I hate Monday sometimes.

I got in a bit of a verbal altercation with Jesus girl last week , don't have time to explain, but she was all praising the Lord over the anti- gay marriage vote last week. I called her a bigot ( may have compared her to the Klan) .
She spent most of the day weds and thurs, singing.
" Hallilulah thank you Jesus, praise the lord praise the Lord"
She hi-jacked the cd player on thursday, and played praise music, everytime someone turned it off, she stomped over and put her cd back in .
I've about had enough.

So that is what I have to look forward to today, tomatoes and Jesus, with a thong up my ass.
I'll be praying that I don't lose my mind and throw one of those tomatoes at her head.

Have a Happy!

Saturday, November 12, 2005

All About Earl

So has everyone seen Earl?
The new NBC show, " My Name is Earl"?

I love Earl.
It's goodhearted, it's funny, it's refreshing.

But the real reason that I love Earl?
It reminds me, that our actions infuence others.

For those that haven't seen it, it's not like any sitcom I've ever seen before. It has no laugh track, it is filmed like a mini-movie. The main character, ( that would be Earl) learns about Karma. He decides that he hasn't been a good person, and that's why bad things happen to him.
So he makes a list of all the bad things he's done in his life, and his goal is to make up for all those things. Each week , Earl tries to fix something he's done wrong off of the list.
It's funny, and it's kind, and in fixing his "wrongs" he does great things for others, in simple ways.

The show makes me laugh, and it makes me think of how I can make my life better, of how *I* could be better. It reminds me.
Because our actions , have ripples.
Like a stone in a pond, everything we do makes tiny waves in the lives of others.
I want to make good ripples.

Now my friend Sasha , she would tell me that "good deeds" are their own reward. It's not about what you get back from being good, because being good is just how you are suppossed to be.
I 'd agree with that.

I was taught, that if you are good, and kind, that good things come back to you.
That goodness begets good fortune. Karma.
But really, it doesn't work that way. It doesn't matter if something is coming back or not. Goodness is it's own reward.

I like Earl, he reminds me that good or bad, our words, our actions, have ripples.

Friday, November 11, 2005


So I didn't have to work today. YAY!
I don't know why they don't just call it Veterans Day, but they don't. Same with Columbus Day , and MLK Day. We get them off, the kids get them off, but the Teachers have what they call an "inservice day", so they work sorta. We get a "student holiday" . It's dumb, call it what it is.

So since I didn't have to work today, and my Kiddo spent the night with another new friend ( nice girl). I figured I would watch Survivor then hang out in a chat room or on IM and visit some cyber buddies and maybe drink some beer. Stay up late, drinking, that was the plan.

I hate darktime. Since the clocks turned back I am sleepy at darktime.
So like , it's dark at six now, so I can barely keep my eyes open past 7:30. I had one beer, and then went right to bed as soon as Survivor was over.
The early dark spoiled my party plans.

Got frozen dinners, got ice cream, got popcorn, rented movies!
It's Friday Family Fun night at the Bug house.
Hopefully I don't fall asleep at 6.


Today's Cup of Tea- ( For Bob)

Today's tea was Celestial Seasonings - Teahouse Chai - Chocolate Caramel Enchantment.
Yummy, I recommend it. It has caffiene.

Saturday, November 05, 2005

The "New" Car

Her name is Lula
She is a green car
She is fast and she runs for Buggy,
Who could

Things are bright in my world tonight.
Hope you all, are safe and well.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Odds and Ends

I have been driving the truck ( there is a Dale Jarrett joke in there somewhere) to work since Monday.
I'm not comfortable in it.
I mean, it's a work pick-up, the thing doesn't even have automatic windows!
It is pretty new and shiney, the gals at work think it's a good truck. I guess I'm not really a truck kinda girl. But it's Texas, so I guess I can pull it off.
I'm handling the shift okay, haven't stalled out at all, so that's good. I'm just not comfortable with it yet, and I still have to think to drive it.
Clutch, brake, clutch downshift , arrrrgh!


I found an old friend, she is my new friend.
Found my friend Susan, and I'm really glad I did.
We'd exchanged emails a few times over the years, and the occasional Xmas card, but last weekend was the first time we'd talked in probably 20 years ( OMG! I can't believe how old I am!)
Anyway we talked for a couple hours, and again today for a couple more.
We first met when we were in 8th grade, and for a couple years were inseparable. We fell in and out with each other in High School, and eventually weren 't as close as we got older.
I'm so glad to get to know the woman she is now, she's alot like the girl I loved back them.
Strange to think that she was my bestfriend when I was my daughters age. Strange to think how different our lives are from what we dreamed of when we were little girls.
We have another friend, Sandee, who actually kept in touch with both of us over the years.
You should have seen the 3 of us when we were 16!
Susan the Blond, me the Brunette, and Sandee the Redhead.
We were just about the cutest things EVAH!
I'm glad I found my Susan again, we click.


Jesus Girl got really freaked out over Halloween.
Seems just being in the same room with someone who was wearing a 3 dollar witch hat may be enough to endanger her soul.
She refused to speak to anyone celebrating the holiday of evil ( Ooooooooooo, those orange pumpkin t-shirts were eveeeeeel!)
She was very pissy all day, slamming down pans, angry about the carved pumpkins I brought in, positively grumbling every time I did my famous cackle laugh. ( I'm proud of the "cackle" it's very Wizard of Oz , dontchaknow)
I'd feel badly about calling her a Jesus Freak, except she was waering a t-shirt that said , " I Am A Jesus Freak" on the front of it, so I guess it's okay.
She left some pamplets next to the candy bowl, some stuff about honoring the "Devil's Day" and how it IS NOT just silly fun, it's honoring Satan.
Didn't stop her from eating one of the cupcakes that one of the heathens brought in ( though I have to say, she did make a point of removing the gummy " eyeball" from it first)

I didn't say anything, but I really wanted to tell her that God knows people's hearts, and that she should have more faith in the good of people. I wanted to tell her that what's really evil isn't dressing in costumes, or carving pumpkins , or Trick or Treats.
Real evil is the horrible things people do to each other everyday.
Real evil is children starving due to anothers greed.
Evil is slavery, and bigotry, and hatred.
Evil is politicians starting a war based on lies, for profit.
I kept my mouth shut, though I smiled when she ate the Devil's cupcake.


My Daughter is writing Fan Fiction on her message board. It's a board for this show she watches. It's a board full of pre-teen girls!
Anyway, I've read a few of the things she's written, and I couldn't be more proud!
She has a gift for dialouge.
The problem is, she types really really slowly, and her gift is cutting into my computer time.
The other thing is that this site has mods and admins that have to check every post before it shows up on the board. So she hits the "post" button and sometimes it's hours or even a day before her stuff shows up on the board. So frustrating for her. It's a really busy board too, so sometimes her part of the story doesn't come up in sync with the part she was responding to.
All messed up, but they do that so the kids don't ever post personnal info, so it's safe.
I got up at 5:40 this morning, and she was already on the computer, " writing" since 5 a.m.
I'm going to have to curb my keyboard addiction, and give her more time.


Hubby is coming home tomorrow night! He'll actually be HOME til Tuesday evening!
We've got to do something about getting a car for me ( and figure out how to dispose of the Dorothy carcass in the garage. ACK! Can't think of her as a car anymore, breaks my heart)
I don't know what we are going to do.
I am pretty sure I'll be getting some snuggling, so that's something good to look forward to.


Be well all!