Bug Soup

A Broth of Rambling Thoughts ( with some morsels of 'silly' thrown in for flavor)

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Trick or Treat , Ya'll


I saw a ghost.
A few weeks ago I saw my Mom.

And for those of you keeping score, next December she will have been gone from this life for two years.
Two years.
I can't believe it.
Just a blink ago she was nagging me about my bad grades and my dirty bedroom.
Then she was holding my newborn baby, and nagging me about my dirty apartment.
Two years ago she was holding my hand and gasping for breath.

But I saw her, just a couple weeks ago.

I was on my way home from work and I stopped at my Bank. Usually I do the drive -thru, but that day I had to walk- in , because they had negelected to return my ID at the drive -thru, and I had to pick it up.

So I pull into the parking lot, I fuss around a bit in my purse, and I happen to look up, and there she was.
Right in front if me!
Looking right at me!

I got chills, ( like you do when you see a ghost) and I just stared at her.
She looked right at me.
My Mom , looking right at me.
She was right there , I could almost hold her.

I was almost in tears when I realised that the front of the Bank is a mirror.
I was looking at me, looking like her.

I was so surreal.

She used to tell me that I was just like her, and I would tell her she was wrong, I was nothing like her.
But we were both right.
Sometimes, I catch a glimpse of my mother, in mirrors.


I have lived in haunted places.
Several of the houses I grew up in were haunted by spirits.
Footsteps heard in the night, things that moved and broke all by themselves.
Actual ghosts that more than one person saw were present in more than one house.
In one place we lived there was a little blond girl with tiny teeth, who smiled in the dreams of everyone who slept in the house. (My bother's friend walked in on her one night in our kitchen, I don't think he ever stayed over again, her smile was terrible.)

But one of my favorite ghost stories, was in the Sylmar house, where lots of things happened.
One day I came home from school and went to my Mom's room to visit with her, she'd been sick and was in her bed. Mom's bed faced the master bathroom door.
I came in and used the potty to pee, with the door open while I talked to Mom about my day.
She could see me from where she was sitting.
After I was done I went to sit on the edge of her bed and talk to her about day.
Then there was a thump in the bathroom, loud, we both heard it.
I walked over to see what it was , and all the framed pictures on the wall in the bathroom were flipped.
They were all upside down!
No one had been in there!
They were right just a moment before when'd I 'd been in the bathroom, the door had been open the whole time.
But there they were, the wall pictures, all 3 of them, upside down.

Jack O Lantern

We carved 3 this year. I love the Pumpkin carving thing!
I am the Martha of pumpkin carving.
I do it every year, I have special knives, I have patterns .
Often I take 2 or 3 days to do my 3 to 5 pumpkins.

This year we had 3 that we bought at the last minute, today ( Trick or Treat was tonight in my neighborhood) . We got home at 1 p.m. and the Kins were ready at 6 ( just before the T or T ers started to appear) This is the quickest that the pumpkins were done, ever!

And they looked good!
I had so much fun handing out candy , the kids were so cute!

I love Halloween!
I had so much fun!
Decorating and getting Katie's costume ready, and handing out the candy !

And all day I felt my Mom with me.
She loved the Fall.
I felt like she was there, with me, all day.

Blessed Autumn to you all!

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Long Time Gone

July First?
July First!!!!!!???

Okay, so I knew I hadn't been here in a long time, but 3 months?
I would like to officially and sincerly apolagize to anyone who still checks in here.
I am a bad bad Bug.
I had a bad summer, yes ; but I never intended to not write the entire summer.

I did get a job, finally. Just when I gave up looking and resigned myself to getting ready for the new school year, I got a job.
It doesn't pay as much as the lunchlady gig, and it wasn't enough hours to be full-time, but they offered it to me, so like Lucy, " I took it!"

I quit after the first week, but nice responsible person that I am, I agreed to work the hours that I was schedualed for the next week, and then another 25 hr week on top of that. ( the second 25 hrs overlapped my first week at school, and basically kicked my ass, 55 hrs was way more than I could handle)

The thing was, I liked the store, and I liked the people, I just didn't like the department I was in ( furniture) or the job I was assigned to. I didn't have enough training and it was oodles of paperwork for every transaction. It was too much for a second job.

But after I quit, I started wandering the store whenever the furniture dept was dead (often).
I went hunting for customers to assist, I helped the other departments with their stocking and recovery. I learned the store, I swept, whatever to keep busy.
I liked helping customers.
And that was the job I'd applied for in the first place anyway.

The managers all loved me, I had 3 of them beg me to stay. The store manager told me several times how much he hated losing me, how good I was with customers.
They all started asking me if I would stay if they took me out of furniture, would I stay if they gave me the hours I wanted? Would I stay for 3 shifts a week? Two?
I could keep my pay ( furniture started at more than storeside) , I could work one or two evenings a week, and the occasional Saturday morning, and the best part was I would keep my 20% employee discount.

I took it.
I'm sometimes tired, but I am making enough there to pay my weekly car payment and the store discount is saving us crazy money.
(There is a weekend in November that we get 30% off! I am so doing all my Christmas shopping then)

If it paid as much as my Food job , I'd quit the School.
I've spent way too many hours standing over a deep fryer. But I just got a 92 cent an hour raise at the school so I can't afford to leave there, yet.

I was going to say where I worked, because I love the store! But I think I may want to talk about it here, so I am not going to name it.
It is a retail chain that does NOT start with a W or a T or a K.

It's my first retail job! I really like it!

If I am mostly absent from the places you usually see me, this is why.

Things that make me Smile


My Kate has been so responsible. Makes me so proud.
On the days that I work nights ( 5-10 is how it's schedualed, but we are usually done early and I am home by 9:30 most nigths) she gets home right after I get to work , and she calls the store to leave a message that she is home. She does homework before anything else. Some days she even gets dinner started.

I chaparoned at her school dance last weekend.
She's odd, her friends are odd, but it was fun!
Her "boyfriend" was there, the little redhead boy who hs been calling her and holding her hand for a year. They didn't dance, but they did run around and act like fools. Not the most mature kids in the school, but they had fun.


My Friend Lisa, our Wheezy.
She got a literary agent for one of her writings.
That agent is working to get her story made into a book.
A book we can buy, a book we can hold in our hands, touch the pages, smell the ink.
I love Lisa's writing, I cherish her words. She is amazing!

I can't wait to read her book while resting on my potty ( beacuse that is where I like to read), or lying in bed. A Wheezy story I can hold in my hands, as well as my heart.

Look for her on the bestseller list soon!


Love that True!
Why does me make me smile?
No reason, just being herself. It's the best reason!
She made me crazy all summer by bringing the Big Brother live feeds to me, as a gift.
( and really, when you can't sleep at 4 a.m. it's good to know you can click on Janelle practicing for comps and flirting with Will, it was the coolest gift ever!)

True is just always her honest self, never more or less.
I love that!
She listens to me whine, she listens to me happy, she shares her life , she laughs!
And even if we only talk for a few minutes about nothing, it refreshes me.
She gives more than she gets, and she rarely complains.
I adore her!
True's friends are lucky!


Makes me smile!
There have been some fun people in the chat lately.
When I get home from work and need to unwind before bed, it's a fun place to go.
Old friends , new friends, a good visit place.
I made a friendly connection with someone I hadn't felt as warm to before.
It was really nice.
I got to meet him on a different level than the message boards, one on one, real time, makes a difference in how you get to know someone.
I got to like someone who I was previously unsure of.
It made me smile!

My Readers

I hope you are still there.
I was wrong to leave this place for so long.
I let myself down too, not writing for so long.
I let down the people who checked in for a soupy story or update.
I have more Frog Farm stories to tell, and maybe even some interesting or silly daily stuff to share. ( I work retail now, there should be stories to tell)
If you are still checking in here, Thanks.

Heart you all
Wish you Safe and Well
My Readers, my Friends