Bug Soup

A Broth of Rambling Thoughts ( with some morsels of 'silly' thrown in for flavor)

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

For Lights

It's been two days since Daytona.
We are still not discussing Tony Stewart here.
Live with it!

* Ha Ha Ha Ha*

( I crack myself up!)

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Odds and *Fuckin' * Ends

Got lots to say, but no one subject.
So I'll try to do a few shorties.


Yes, it's the day of the Daytona 500! The Great American Race!
I watched it ( of course) and had a great time, though wasn't very happy with the results ( I may be happier after I check out my Fantasy Race scores , not sure yet)

I always think about Dale on Daytona Day.
How could you not?
I miss seeing him him on the track. I miss his face, and his car, and his heart.
For those that don't get it; Losing the Sports biggest star, on it biggest day, is huge.
Imagine your favorite quarterback, dying on the field, in the final play of the Superbowl.
It's almost like that, but worse. It makes for a sad celebration.
It makes the Daytona 500 a celebration and a memorial, every year.


The weather sucked! They drove through clouds all day, the camera shots were crappy, it looked cold. In fact it matched the way my backyard looked, except we had temps of 30F and something they called " Freezing Fog". ( Anyone ever hear that one before? Nope, me neither.)
The track lights were on early in the afternoon, and it was nearly wet enough to stop the race all day. Watching racing through fog is not pretty, it doesn't make for a good show.


Loved Bon Jovi for the Pre-Race! LOVED IT!


J.J. Yelly. Rookie.
For the last 2 days my Hubby has been talking about JJ. In fact we started calling the kid,
"Jelly" for short.
"Are you Jellin'?"
So of course I picked him for my team , because my Hubby made him appealing. What a bust!


Tony Stewart.
I don't want to talk about Tony today , so we won't.


Jimmie Johnson, winner of the 2006 Daytona 500.
I'd be a lot happier about his win if his crew cheif wasn't caught cheating last week, and suppended from the race. I like Jimmie, but I don't like cheating, and I hated his excuse.
Good for him, but I can't feel really great about it, and that makes me mad.


Not the worst Daytona 500 I've ever seen, but not the best either. I'm just glad that Nascar season is back.
Start your engines!


I can't watch the Olympics with my husband.
He makes me crazy!
He talks over the part I want to hear, he acts like he knows it all, he won't admit when he is wrong.
Hell , he even makes up stats off the top of his head and gets mad when I question them.
" Do you have a source for that?"

Just becuase I have never skied, doesn't mean I can't see what is going on

" You see that? His skies are close together, like they should be!"

Yes, yes, I can SEE!

What is bad is when he tries to tell me what happened in an event that he didn't watch, an event that I did watch.

But the worst?
The worst is when he tries to "fix" the Olympic Sports. Like they would be better with his suggestions, like the athletes would go faster if they just tried it His way.
Ya, right.

For instance, Skeleton.
Did you know that they should put their arms out in front of them?
Oh yes, they' d go faster that way.
( I spent 2 hours arguing why this would be totally stupid and they'd break their arms, and they wouldn't be able to see where they were going; And how if it was faster, wouldn't they have tried it already? I even offerred to take him out for a drive on the highway, to see if he could keep his arm straight out the window at 70mph.)

Every event is like this!
(Except Ice Dancing, because he can't seem to figure out what a "twizzle" is. )

So I usually wait to see if he will fall asleep early, if not, I pretend I am going to bed early so I can watch the Games in the other room, in peace.

He makes me crazy!

The Boyfriend

Katie has a Boyfriend.
He's been over for the day a couple times. He's a nice boy.
They have been crushing on each other and all giggly since 6th grade. They have gone to different schools the last two years, and mostly met up at School Dances, or talked on the phone some. He goes to the School I work at , and I have passed the occasional note or two for them.
They have spent time together lately because of parental assistance. He lives all the way across town, a nearly 30 minute drive from our house. (Not like the old days, when the boy that liked me in 8th grade , would ride his bike a mile up the hill to see me.)

Next year they go to the same school.

They have the same interests, and they are very sweet together.
He is a BOY.
Not one of those 13 yr old hairy, mini- men, with broad shoulders. Nope, "Z" is a boy.
He is polite ( the lunchladies love him) and quite sweet faced.
Even Katie's Daddy likes this boy.
( Who had the good sense to lose 2 games of Chess to Kate's Dad.)

There has been no kissing , yet.
I am not naive, my daughter told me she is hoping he will kiss her soon.

Friday night, he asked her, ( online, since he was almost out of phone minutes) if she would be his "Girlfriend".
Katie said, " Yes!" ( typed " yes")
I am happy for her.
She has never been "boy crazy", but she really likes this Boy.
She is different, My Katie, from other teenaged girls. She knows who she is and what she wants.
She is shy, but with an odd kind of confidence.
I watch her carefully, but I'm not worried about her. Yet.

It's weird , watching your child have their first love.
I'm not looking forward to her first heartbreak, but I guess this is how it starts.

F*F*F* F-ing* F!

Conversations between my Hubby and my Brother are quite colorful.
Not in a creative way, just in a "fuckin' " , as a verbal tic kinda way.
I am not going to claim my own language is without the occasional swear word, but enough already!

Dude, it was fuckin' crazy, fucking amazing fucking crazy.
I know what you fucking mean, I deal with that fucking shit everyday!
No, I mean fucking crazy!
I fucking know!
You have no idea how fucking fucked up this is, it's totally fucked.
Ya, that's fucked up.

Arrrrgh! I want to scream! Can every other word, not be "FUCK" ?
My kid is in the next room, and she can hear you.

So usually they are both pretty good, but as soon as the are together the conversation gets so full of F's , that I can't take it.
Do they talk this way at work?

And I am not quiet about it when it gets bad.

" Can you guys watch the language? Kate can hear you."

" Can you tone down the swearing?"

" Hello! Can we tone down the F word in there?!"

But they don't hear me.
The other night, my brother looked at me and said , " What? I'm not swearing."

Umm yes, yes you were.

It's as if he doesn't even hear it. Every other word is EFF!

I'm not a word prude , but I see no reason for it being used so often.
I even use the word myself, just not in every sentance.
Not every other word.
Not while the kid is sitting there!
Sure, she's heard the word, but can we tone it down a little?
My living room is not a locker room, and they are both bright enough to have other words in their vocabulary.
As soon as they are together it starts.

I'm fucking tired of it!

Friday, February 10, 2006

The House Next Door

The house nextdoor.
Is empty.

My dear friend and neighbor, Katie H. passed away this week.
She was found Tuesday, on her kitchen floor, face down in a pool of blood, by the neighbor that lives on the other side of her.
He was concerned that her trashcans from Monday were still out, and her newspaper hadn't been picked up Tuesday morning, so he checked on her. God Bless him.
She'd been dizzy, and falling quite often, they don't know what took her exactly, but think it may have been a stroke.

Her Husband of many years, died last year, just a few months before my my Mom did.
She was alone this last year, except for her little dog ( who she referred to as , " such a bad little boy" He was sweet, and tiny.)

Since we'd lived here, she was always there, nextdoor.
She greeted us the day we moved in.
She was never in our business, never nosey, or gossipy; but if something was wrong, she was there .
Like she knew when I needed her.

Her voice was like a hug.
Katie was from Germany, and in her 80's. She sounded exactly like my Nana, and she was lovely.

I got a phone call from her one day, telling me that Steve needed to fix Kate's swing. She loved to sit on her patio and watch my child play in the yard, and she was really bothered that the swing was broken, and my baby wasn't swinging under the trees anymore.
She left treats on our porch Easter morning.

She showed up at my door one Sunday evening in 2001 , tears in her eyes.
See, she'd heard from some kids in the neighborhood, that my husband had died. I hadn't been home in days, and there were strange people coming and going from my house at odd hours. And she hadn't seen my baby Katie in the backyard for days.
My husband was indeed near death, but not gone . He'd had lifesaving brain surgury to repair an anyeresm that had hemoraged. It was a bad time, and she knew it.
Katie sat with me, and held my hand, and said encouraging things, while my Mother-in -Law bathed my child and got her ready for bed. The phone rang, a call from my sister telling me that Dale Earnhardt hadn't survived the crash. It was the first I'd heard that Dale had died, and my husband wasn't there to comfort me. He was in a NICU, and I couldn't even call him.
Katie had watched the race too, and was as stunned as I , at Dale was gone. She came to comfort me over my Husband, and we ended up having a moment together, over the loss of another Hero.

Sometimes we'd sit in the backyard and have a few drinks together. She was totally fun when she was lit! She could drink! She was so fun!

Before her husband Gus died, he saw my Mom in the backyard one day .
They knew my Mom, they'd met all our parents over the years.
She looked so much like me that day, wearing my robe, but bald headed from her radiation treatments. He thought it was me.
Katie called me a few days later, to " check on us " .
Seems they were afraid I was sick, and didn't know what to say. Were worried about me, and my child and my husband. They thought I had Cancer. They thought I was the bald sick woman in my backyard .
She was so sweet, I knew she was sad that my Mom was sick, but yet so glad that it wasn't me. I could hear the relief in her voice.
For days they'd worried about what to say, what to do. They thought I was sick, and it was awful for them. They were so happy I wasn't dying, and so sad for me that my Mom was.

I didn't spend as much time with Katie as I should have, especially this last year.
I'd tell her to call me whenever she needed anything, but she rarely called. Oh sometimes she'd call me to help her re-set clocks, or fix the settings on her TV remote, but she never called just to say she was lonely.
I knew she was.
Losing her Gus was horrible for her, they had no children, and she was so alone. But she liked her privacy too, and didn't want anyone fussing over her. She was a strong woman.
The last time anyone saw her, she told my Brother that his Mom would be so proud of him.
That was the last morning of her life.
She liked Kurt so much.
Every morning they talked over the fence when they took the dogs out.
Every morning she greeted my daughter and visited while Kate waited for her school bus.
Katie loved my Katie.

I can't believe she is gone.
I'll miss her.
Everytime I see her house, I feel it's emptiness.
I think I will always feel that emptiness.
I can't imagine anyone else ever living there.

Goodbye Katie
I am so glad you and Gus are together
I wish you never lonely again
I will miss you
I loved you
I hope you know how important you are in my life
I wish I had told you more often

The house nextdoor to me is empty now.