Bug Soup

A Broth of Rambling Thoughts ( with some morsels of 'silly' thrown in for flavor)

Sunday, April 30, 2006

A Little of This , A Pinch of That


Oh man, do I hate housecleaning.
Always have and I'm just not good at it either. I supose before the days of personnal computers ( or at least before we had one) , I got more done around the house. You can listen to music while cleaning house, you can watch TV and fold clothes , you can clean the kitchen and talk on the phone at the same time. But the computer? Nothing gets done while messing around on there. Besides I tend towards laziness, ( which I'm not all that ashamed of by the way) and am easily distracted.
The other thing I totally hate is that no one pitches in. I don't get how people can sit on their ass and watch me work, or worse, mess it up while I'm cleaning ( Hubby walked right across my wet kitchen floor with dirty shoes while I was still mopping!).
If it gets doen at my house , it's because I did it. ( Except for yardwork, and I know if I did any yardwork at all, one time, it would become my job too.)
The weird thing is that once I start cleaning I get all OCD about it and can't stop. I start to just wipe down the bathroom counters and clean the mirror, and the next thing I'm washing walls and cleaning out cabinets, so the job gets too big and it ends up being left half done.

Anyway, what I really meant to say, was that I mopped the floors today. ( Along with about a dozen other jobs I didn't intend to do at all)


I want to talk about those new VW ads on the TV. Not the weird ones with the Uber Stylin' German dude that smashes the other cars that are trendy, but not as good as the VW ( You know those ones? It's the guy that plays the Devil in that Keanu Reeves movie, Constantine) .
Nope, not those.
I want to talk about the ones with the crashing.
The way too very real screeching metal actual accident ads.
See, there was a time that those ads would have sent me to hide in a bed, in a dark room.
Because I was phobic of driving.
Agoraphobia, couldn't leave the house without anxiety for sure, but mostly, it was the car thing.
I was terrified of riding in a car, and driving was completely out of the question.
So I think the crash ads would have spun me back then.
I think I sorta like them.
Not the crash part, but I get into the ad before I realize that it's one of the "Crash" ones.
They start out so normal, a couple of guys having a conversation on the way to work , a pair of couples discussing the movie they just saw. I watch because it has a story , I want to know what happens next.
That's what happens next.
The ads lull you into what is going on in the car, then BAM!
I think they are brilliant.
I want one of those safe cars!
Forget that I think they are ugly, they got airbags all around. Like driving a car while surrounded in bubble wrap . ( And really, who doesn't love bubble wrap?)
Those ads make me want that car.
Brilliant advertizing.

So I am driving on the hwy yesterday ( rural, 2 lanes , 70mph speed limit ) coming home from Costco ( where, by the way, you can purchase huge cases of bubblewrap. Who knew?) and I notice one of those crash protective VW's, being driven by a zoomer.
You know " Zoomers"?
Those are the cars that weave in and out of traffic, tailagating and shooting friom lane to lane, racing to get one car length ahead, who end up right next to you at the signal.
So this zoomer in the bubblewrap Jetta is all over the road, and then , somehow, he is behind me. And the fucker is right on my bumper.
The speed limit is 70, I'm pushing my little piece at 72 , and he is a breath away from the food in my trunk. I can't get over, I am blocked in by an 18 wheeler hauling cows and a granny in a Buick on my right. If I relax my foot on the gas at all ( it's floored) the Zoomer is gonna crush my 6 lb bag of tortilla chips.
It occurs to me that maybe having safer cars isn't as important as having safer drivers.
Then I wonder if maybe those cars aren't just safer in accidents , maybe they attract accidents.
He zooms around me somehow and slides between the big truck and the slow granny , he zips , he zoom zooms, he farfenugeuns his way around them all.
I am glad he is gone , stupid tailgating asshole!
I pull up next to him at the signal.

I still like those ads though, til the crash part.


How much do I love Costco?
So much, oh so much.
Hubby's Mom sends us gift cards about 2 , sometimes 3 times a year.
For about $ 200, sometimes $300 .
Do you have any idea how much food you can buy at Costco for 300 dollars??!!!!!
It's amazing!
I can actually buy more food than will fit in my car!
And I like to look. I go up and down every ailse, looking at stuff I am never gonna buy.
I brouse the tools , the garden items, the office supplies. I spend tons of time in the housewares section.
I don't buy that stuff; I just inhale the shopping experience of it.
I went to the Costco yesterday. It's a trip because it isn't close, it's a hwy drive, and it takes about 40 minutes to get there.
I had 78 bucks leftover on a giftcard from Xmas , and stocking up on meat for the freezer and soda, was my goal. I ended up writing a check for $104, but we got meals for almost 2 months, my child can eat chips and salsa for 3 weeks ( her favorite after-school snack) we got a huge tub of coffee , and I bought a book.
We are broke, but we're having grilled burgers on chibatta bread for dinner tonight!
I love Costco.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Excuse Me for Writing


I wrote this back on the 8th, but didn't post it. It's been sitting in my drafts box for almost a month. I haven't felt right about my blog, and guess I need to get this out of the way before I start blogging again. So I am going to go ahead and get this over with and maybe start fresh here again.
My buddy Carey is right, if I am going to comment on friends blogs and get back into the loop, I should add some stuff here at my place, I guess I've neglected my fans. LOL!
( Besides I got tagged by Mystic and didn't even know it !)

So maybe this explains some of why I didn't update, and maybe it doesn't, but it's old business that I need to deal with. Cleaning out my emotional closet, I suppose.

I had more to this entry, including a bunch of stuff about quitting smoking , but since I've fallen a bit off the wagon this week, I edited that part out.

I'll update sometime this weekend.
Thanks to all that read me, those that comment, and those that don't, those in my real world and those in my cyber circle.

I've been trying to decide if I should post here in my place again.
I wrote for me here, and if anyone read it I was pleased, but that wasn't why I wrote.
I wrote for me.
I guess it hadn't occurred to me that I could be judged for it, that people in my real life would resent my writing an online journal.
And that is what this is for me, a journal of sorts.

Some of my online buddies write very interactive Blogs.
I love those!
They are like meeting places , and interactive parties. Some peeps have separate blogs for private thoughts and public, and that is all cool.
I just have this place, and I kinda just use it to write essays about my life.

It's about me.
Maybe that seems selfish to some, but I like having a space that is all about me, a place to talk about what I think and feel.
This is my journal, ( though I have let it be public in that anyone can read it. )
I don't advertise it on message boards, I don't mind other blog friends linking it, but it's for me.
It's my expression, my lamenting, my laughing , my bitching place.

I didn't know that writing for me was somehow insulting to my Sister.
I had no idea that she would be hurt reading what I wrote about my personnal feelings of despair over recent events. Family issues that affect many people.
I don't hold any personnal patent on family pain. It doesn't belong to me alone, this is a shared pain.
I just wasn't aware that I had to ask permission to write about how I felt.

Hey Deena?
Is it okay if I talk about my feelings?
Will that upset you?
Because I don't want to fight with you.
I don't want hurt feelings.
I can't believe you dissed me on my blog.
I can't believe you didn't call me, but instead told me off publically .
I can't imagine you would be offended that I wrote my feelings for me.

I guess I owe my sister Deena an email.
I have been looking at the email she sent me for days, and am still not sure how to respond.
I am not sure if I'm pissed or crushed.