Hubby Stories

Well the Hubby is HOME!
He has been home since the Thursday before Xmas.
It's the longest he has been home since the end of March.
I have been so looking forward to this time , things were rough when he left, and having him home for only 3 days out of the month, has never felt like a normal life.
I got stories!

The Bathtub incident

So the Hubby wants to soak in the tub.
We got a great bathtub. It's big, it's deep , it has whirlpool jets. It's like the best bathtub ever! It's like a jacuzzi in the house.
He's been in it before , it is big enough for two, but never has he been in the tub by himself.
So I draw him a bath in the great tub, ( I add mineral salts and some nice smelly spa bath stuff)
He doesn't know how to work the whirlpool since he never has. I come in to check on him , and he is having an enjoyable soak.
I turn on the jets, and I turn them up. He loves it.
I leave to get a drink , lock the door , and then to join him.
He doesn't know I plan to join him , and maybe that was my mistake.
When I come back a few minutes later, he is out of the tub, but the jets are still on!!!
The entire bathroom is flooding.

Imagine this; You enter a bathroon and see water spraying everywhere! I mean everywhere!
There is my Husband, outside the tub, trying frantically to figure out how to turn it off.
He's naked, trying to block the water spray, while at the same time trying to turn it off.

And the jets are spraying everywhere!!
There is water all the way on the other side of the room, it's pooling on the baseboards!
I have suddenlly lost my sexy mood.
I go straight into wife mode, grabbing towels trying to save carpet, screeching about the flooded room.
He is standing there naked asking , " How the Fuck, do you turn this thing off!?!"

I should have laughed.

It was fucking funny as hell.
Why didn't I laugh?
Oh , I laughed later, but not when I should have.
I should have laughed right then and there, so he would know that it wasn't a big deal, so he wouldn't have lost his good bath feeling.
We fixed it, the flood and the mood, later.
But I shouldn't have freaked out over some wet carpet, because it was really funny.
Hubby bending naked over the tub, trying to block the spray while at the same time trying to turn off the tub jets.
It was classic.

The Best CD

I bought Hubby a CD for Christmas.
This is pretty much ordinary, but usually I know which one he wants. I confidently buy him the CD he's requested, or the newest from one of his favorites.
This year I was lost, and the WalMart doesn't have the greatest selction.
So I was brousing around, and there it was. Robin Trower.
At the time I didn't know why I thought he would like it, but I bought it, it sounded familier.
The next day the anxiety kicked in.
I had no idea who Robin Trower was, what made me think that Hubby would like it?
I called friends who had heard of Robin Trower, but they couldn't name any of his songs.
And was Robin a guy or a band?
Fuck! I didn't know!
I got online, but the yahoo player refused to play the only video in their library.
I talked to an online friend, she did a search, and told me, " He's a blues/rock guitarist."
( Thanks Momma!)
So I wrapped it up with the tags still on it, and I kept the receipt.

Christmas morning, Steve opens the package with the Robin Trower CD in it, I was so nervous, I wanted it to be perfect, I just knew it was wrong. I can't remember being that anxious about a gift ever.

He loved it!

Not only was he happy over it, but he told me that it was the best gift ever!
It went imediately into the stereo, and he smiled at me the whole time it played.
I don't why I knew, I had no idea he'd had it on vinyl , back in the day.

It was the best gift.
Not just for him, but for me too.


Bed Space

My Husband comes home about 3 days every three weeks.
I don't sleep in the middle of the bed when he's gone, I sleep on my side, ( the side nearest the bathroom) always. The only difference with him gone, is that the covers tend to slide over to my side.
He'd tell you that I have always been a cover stealer, I would debate that point.
So the first night he is home, I never sleep well. He sleeps on me.
I know he misses me, and I like to cuddle, to a point.
But the first night he is home he almost always sleeps with his arm across me and his leg wrapped over mine.
I am pinned down by Love!
Damn, his arms are heavy!
I like the cuddle til it is time to sleep, then get the hell offa me!
I can't sleep with someone hugging me.
Even my child. I can't sleep with another human on me.

And he won't know til he reads this that I didn't sleep well the first night he was home.
But I knew he needed to hold me all night, I knew he needed to feel me, to know he was really Home.
I am Home to him , and him to me.
So hold me Baby, hold me all night.
Home is in your arms.


New Year

While I was writing this, 2005 turned into 2006.
May the New Year bring peaceful and wonderful days to all who read this.

Tidings of comfort and joy!

Happy 2006!

The Bug Soup? Not so Funny

What topics would you, the loyal reader, like to see addressed here at Bug Soup?

Because it's been a bit of a downer lately ( that whole thing about my teeth? Totally depressing)
I need ideas.

Help me, help you.

Siblings

Sometimes I worry about my daughter being an only child, other times, I think I did her a favor.


My Brother is starting a new job today. Now get don't all excited , he started a new job last week too. And when I got home at 2:30 he was sitting on the sofa because he'd quit.
I 'm waiting to see if this one sticks before getting too happy about. I'm a positive sort, but am tired of dissapointment.

Got an email from my Sister yesterday. She wants to know where Mom's ashes are.
"It's been a year"
Yes, I am well aware that it's been a year, afterall I am the one who found Mom on the floor , I am the one who gave her morphene and breathing treatments, so I think I'd know what fucking day it is. *sigh*
What I really said to my sister was that it could take up to 18 months, and no, I hadn't heard anything but would let her know.
Mom donated her body to a medical school, they will return the ashes when they are done with her remains. After the are done using what was left behind to teach future doctors how to treat the living bodies, after they use her disesed cells to try to cure what took her away.

While my sister was getting flowers I was schedualing to have the hospital bed and the oxygen machine picked up. Though I shouldn't be pissed, I know I shouldn't, the email just seemed so thoughtless. I know my siblings lost their Mom, what my sister doesn't seem to realize is that I lost mine too.

Odds and Ends and Stuff

The Gap

So when I was young I had a gap between my front teeth.
( Ha! You thought this was gonna be about that store. Wrong.)
Anyway, I had these gaps between my teeth because they were wrong. I had no eye teeth, (the ones on the the other side of the fronts, before the canines.)
They weren't there. They did x-rays, there were no roots for them. No eye teeth at all. Plus, my top fronts were like upsidedown looking. They were narrower at the bottom, instead of the top. But my teeth were ( are ) straight.
A dentist my Mom knew told her that braces could be used to pull the teeth together and get rid of the gaps, but then if the eye teeth suddenly showed up years later it would all be screwed up, so I didn't get braces when we had the money for them.
So I made my own braces.
I had this friend who wore one of those headgear things on her braces at night ( she has a beautiful smile now, btw) and she had all these tiny little rubber bands to hold it together. I got the idea that I could use those rubber bands to pull my teeth together. So she gave me some bands and at night I'd put one around my front four teeth to pull them together. I did not tell my mother about this till years later.
It kinda worked.
The gaps got smaller, and I could smile without having to push my tongue up against the back of my front teeth anymore.
Flashforward to when I was 20 and I had great dental insurance.
I went for a check-up and cleaning. The Dentist asked me how I liked my smile. I said it was okay, except for the missing eye teeth thing. He asked who my orthadontist was. I confessed about the rubber bands and he laughed and said I'd done a pretty good job. He said he could use bonding to reshape my teeth and make my canines look like eye teeth, and make my front teeth wider at the bottom.
It was purely cosmetic, but my insurance covered all of it!
So I got the bonding that was suppossed to last 5 to 10 yrs, my smile was fixed!

20 years later the bonding is still in place, but my teeth have begun separating again.
I have a gap between my front teeth. It is spreading.
I hate it!
Ya ya, it's cute, Madonna has one, whatever.

Do you think I should try the rubber band thing again?


The Zit

I have a zit on my chin.
It is no ordinary zit, it has been there ( in various zit stages) since August 12th.
Yes, I do know the exact date because it was there the day I started work for the new school year.
It's one of those deep zits, the kind that hurts days before it makes an actual appearance, the kind that lasts weeks before it heals. Except this fucker starts to heal up and then comes back bigger. I have squeezed it, I have left it alone, I have put all types of medicine on it. I even tried toothpaste.
It's just there.
I attempt to cover it with make-up each day, but even my patience has limits.
4 months is just too long for a zit.
I am thinking of naming it, and maybe teaching it tricks, because it's almost like a pet now.


Cold Ass

I'm fricken cold!
It's 36 right now!
I know my Rocky Mountain friend is gonna laugh at me, and my Canadian friends are gonna bust a gut. Hell, even True is gonna giggle some.
But I don't know how ya'll take a shower once the temp drops.
I hate taking my clothes off when it's cold, and getting wet is just out of the question.
I swear that if my hair didn't start looking dirty after 2 days, I wouldn't shower all winter.
I would wash my pits and ass with a warm washcloth , and that would be it! ( what my Mom used to call a whore bath, LOL!)
But I grit my teeth and take a shower, and no matter how hot the water, I never feel warm enough, because I know I have to get out of the shower again. I'll be wet and naked! I fucking hate that!
You know, once your butt gets cold, you don't feel warm again til spring.
I call it the Cold Ass.
I used to sit on the front porch bricks waiting for the school bus with Kate every morning.
No matter what I did I couldn't get that cold offa my butt. Once your butt is cold there is no warmth.
I have been a miser with the thermostat this year. You would think that 68 is warm enough in the house, but I'm cold.
Texas is weird; yesterday it was in the 80's , today the high was upper 40's.
If it was really cold here all winter, I would DIE!


Fruitcake

I was going to tell my Fruitcake story on Coco's thread at the other place. It was the perfect spot, and I don't think I've ever told it before in print. ( Beautiful tale of magic fruitcake, and new beginnings, a lovely true Christmas story)
But the darned place wouldn't load good for me, so slow.
I'll try again tomorrow, but if I don't post it there, I'll post it here.