Bug Soup

A Broth of Rambling Thoughts ( with some morsels of 'silly' thrown in for flavor)

Thursday, January 01, 2009

Animal Tales

More stories this entry.
What can I say, they are running around in my head, and they are probably more interesting than the self-indulgent complaint stuff.
( Though ya'll are very kind when I whine about stuff)

Predatory Cats

So lately I've been having these weird experiences with men, or should I say, BOYS.
Young men seem to be flirting with me.
I know!
So weird!
Some of them are very young, and it's creeping me out.

I'm not going to say that I'm unattractive, in fact some days I know I look pretty darn good.
I've always been comfortable being friendly with men that I'm comfortable with ( friends, some co-workers) , I talk to men quite easily.
I have noticed men are more friendly to me since I lost weight, but I don't think I was ever unattractive. I was fat, not ugly.

I'm chatty by nature, like to make people laugh, will strike up a conversation with just about anyone, it's who I am.
But let's just be really clear, I am not the "Hottie". I don't look like the type that you'd think a really young man would be interested in.
I'm not tall, I'm not busty, I'm not sexy.
I have age spots on my hands.
I'm not putting myself down, like I said before, I think I'm an attractive enough woman, but it is what it is.
Ya know?
I am who I am.

Recently one of the young boys that I work with, nice kid about 20, was shocked that I was over 40.
( I won't re-cap the whole conversation, but I made a joke about being old when I asked him to help me lift something, and I ended up telling him my age)


He follows me around like a puppy.
And he told some of the other young guys what my age is, and all of a sudden they all seem to think I'm "Hot".
Huh? What?
Because I'm over 40 I'm more attractive?

Not only am I old enough to be their mother, but I'm married ( really married) and I wear a ring.
I joke with then, but never in a sexual way, never in a flirty way.
But they are flirting with me! I am pretty sure of it.
One even came up and told me that " For 44, you are really hot! I've always liked older women!"
What the hell do you say to that?
( What I did say , in a really deadpan tone, was " How hot would I be for 60?" But the joke went over his empty young head.)

My sister has had young men issues too. Perfectly nice guys who she would want to be friends with, but who want to "get to know her better".
She is also in her ( very early) 40's.
( sorry Deenie)
But it's not like she is seeking these men out, they are looking for her.

Yesterday a woman about my age ( though no where near as cute as me, thankyouverymuch) came into my store with a young man that had to be her son. He was 16 to 20 years old. Possibly my daughter's age, maybe a bit older, but no way was he older than 20.
Cute kid, but so young that I took a second look to see if maybe I'd served him lunch at the middle school ( over 6 years as a Lunchlady I know lots of the young people in town).
I didn't know him, and I was a little shocked when he checked me out.
Like really 'checked me out' , like smiled and looked at my tits, 'checked me out'.
I was called to my register and ended up being the one to , well , check them out.
And after I rang up the mom's stuff, I rang up his stuff and he says ( I swear!) " How you doin'?" and winked at me.
He winked at me!!
In front of his mom!

Again I want to say that I was not all tarted up, not dressed for clubbing , barely wearing any make-up, ugly work vest over black collar shirt with work jeans. I'd been working the warehouse boxes most of the morning .
I was a mess and this young boy was winking at me.
There is something very wrong here.

I blame the big cats for this.
I blame the Cougars.
These women have made young men think that any woman over 40 is "hot to trot" with them.

( Bonus points for knowing the 70's TV show reference)

Those Damn Cougars!
Women my age that want the very young men are making my life awkward.
I have no issue with a bit of age difference, I try not to judge, but there is a point where it becomes icky.
Admit it.

To all the young men out here
If you look at me with hungry eyes?
I'm going to want to serve you a sandwich with a side of fries.
That's it, that's all, back off!

The Wolf

So you all wanna hear about the sexual predator at my work?
Yep, an actual "registered sex offender".

He's 30. He is doing probation for having sex with a 16 year old.
He isn't bad looking, but he is one of those guys who is all pumped up and thinks he is 'All That!'

The very first time I met him he made sure to mention that his nipples are pierced, I made sure to mention that I was married.
He is one of those guys who thinks he is Casanova, that all women want him.
He flirts with every female he comes across, 8 to 80.
I think he just tries everyone and hopes that something takes the bait.

The first time he was reprimanded at work and threatened with being fired by the boss was about 2 months ago, and before the boss knew about the conviction for Statutory Rape.

The Wolf was telling the other stockers ( not me, thank Gawd!) about some girl that rubbed his package. The idiot was telling this very graphic ( I was told later) story on the sales floor, in the aisles, within hearing of customers.
One of the guys he told the story to was on his way to the front of the store to tell the manager about it, but an elderly lady customer got there first and complained.
Oh bad news!
The Boss was furious!

A week or so after this incident the store manager ( The Boss) warned me about The Wolf, and asked if I'd been offended in any way by him, and told me to let him know if I was uncomfortable working with him, because by then the manager knew that The Wolf had been convicted of sex with a teen.

Now I know there are privacy issues and the Manager probably shouldn't have told me about another employees legal issues, but The Wolf had been bragging about it all over the store, so the Boss figured the guy had waived the privacy thing.
And the Boss was just waiting to find out if the Corporate Office would require a firing.

The manager and I talked about it, we agreed that there are some young girls that look older, and pretend to be older, and that The Wolf could have made a mistake, but that he had other issues.
I mentioned that I thought he was overly flirty with customers and I brought up the fact that Corporate may not be comfortable with keeping The Wolf for liability issues. The Manager brought up the fact that we had 2 female employees under the age of 18, and that concerned him. He was worried about his female employees, but he also didn't want to treat anyone unfairly.

( I want to add here that my Store Manager is a great person! I really like him as a Boss and as a Friend. He often talks to me about things and treats me as a peer, he listens to me, and seeks my opinion on 'people stuff'. )

I didn't mention all the offensive things The Wolf had said to me, and there were quite a few things I could have shared. ( Like the time I had a cough and The Wolf told me I needed " an injection of penis-cilin" )

I'm a big girl, and if I'd felt threatened, I'd have said something.
I have no qualms about reporting a co-worker that makes me feel uncomfortable.
( But I don't report people who are just lame and icky)
It wasn't until after he was convicted and put on a 'Predator List' that I had real issues with his behavior.
He bragged about his conviction, he made fun of it, made light of it. Told the younger guys how he was a 'Stud' in the eyes of the law.
He talked about how cool his probation was, how fun his court ordered meetings were.
Before I got a chance to discuss it with the manager, the word from Corporate came down and the guy was fired.

Problem solved?
Not hardly.
The Wolf comes into the store all the time now.
At least 3 times a day sometimes more, everyday.

Now he isn't an employee , and my personal comfort zone is different.
I would still complain if he made me feel offended, but what threat is there to him?

He buys a can of soda, or a pack of gum, and then he wanders the store talking up the female customers. ( Yesterday I saw him showing pictures of his son to some cute girl customers, flirting ).
He goes out to his car, waits awhile, and then comes back in to prowl about, over and over, all day.

I told one co-worker that I was mentally planing where I would hide the day he showed up with a gun.
I was only half kidding, she knew it, and agreed.
Turns out that I am not the only one concerned that he drives through the parking lot all day long, and comes into the store over and over all day long.
Several of the younger women employees have voiced concern over him, he seems to be bolder now that the threat of termination is gone.
I've mentioned to whatever manager is on duty ( The Boss, the Store Manager is on vacation this week) how often The Wolf comes in the store, just so they are aware.

I wasn't that worried about him when he was an employee, there are rules about harassment, there are options of complaint.
Now? I'm really uncomfortable.

The Stray

Hubby met a cat and she took a shine to him, and he brought her home.

He needed her, he needed the good thing she represented.
But he brought her home way too soon.

At Hubby's work there is a wooded area behind them ( in front there is a very busy highway, and close by , I-20 a Freeway).
The animals come around from the woods and the idiots feed them ( Hubby included).
There are lots of feral cats, and raccoons and stuff.
( Of course there are, they put out food for them)

And this one little kitty that would let Hubby pet her. She would show up as soon as she heard his truck in the morning, she would sit in his office ( I use the word "office" loosely) and she would eat out of his hand, literally.

Hubby kept telling me about this little girl, talking about her, worrying about her when it was cold at night.
So one night I tell him that that he should get her used to people , that if he thinks she can be saved, he can bring her home someday, but that he has to "tame" her first.
Ummm, not right away, not before she is ready.

Smokey came home this Tuesday, while I was at work ( Hubby is off work this week).
Smokey is beat up.
I can't even imagine how hard a life this little thing has had, and I'm not even sure it's a female ( I can't get a good look under it)
If it's female it could be pregnant, her belly is big, but not so big it's a given.
Lots of unknowns with Smokey.

What is known, is that Smokey has had a hard life.
She may have been a pet a one time, she isn't completely wild, but she is very scared and likes small dark corners.
She wasn't ready to come home to a home yet, but I'll take her.
The tip of one ear is gone, and she has scars all over. Her tail looks short to me, she may have lost the tip.
She is a solid dark gray, not a blue, just dark gray.
Her eyes, well , I get why Hubby got soft on her, I fell in Love with them first look.

I am so practical about Pets, it's why we didn't have them for so long.
( Years ago I worked at a Veterinary Hospital)
I am a firm believer in being responsible if you are going to care for animals.
You have to be willing and able to do the work, and willing and able to give the Love, and willing and able to pay the costs of good vet care.
If you can't care for them properly, don't have pets.

And Simber is our cat, he is our family ( don't have a pet if it isn't going to be part of the Family) and Simber is freaked out about Smokey. Lots of chasing and hissing.

Smokey doesn't like to be picked up, or held.
Petting and ear scritching is cool with her, but no holding.
So I grab her, and hold her, because even though she hates it, she needs it.

I'm not a big animal person, if they are too much effort I don't see the need, but I believe in being responsible for those you bring into your home.
I think Steve brought her home too soon, she is way too afraid of people still, and Simber isn't helping ( we had a hissing chasing incident last night, the Sim is as freaked out as the Smokey is)

But you should see her!
She may not know it, but she needs us, and she is going to take way more time and effort to domesticate than Hubby thinks.
But I think she is worth it.

I'd love tips and hints and guidence to help me make Smokey trust me. And I need help in making Simber accept her a a family member too.
I promised her that she would never be hungry, or cold, or alone again.

I don't know why, but I fell in love with this cat. I want her so much.
Right now she is hiding just out of my reach under the bed.
I'll post pictures when I can get her to be stiil.
I am not giving up on this cat.

(Note- "Simber" was named by my daughter for a character in a not yet published ( but brilliant!) novel by Lisa McMann)


Blogger Bobdechemist said...

1) *leer* How ya doin?
2) Ick, carry mace
3) Awwwwww

9:28 PM  
Blogger Puffy said...

First of all, I'm so glad that you're posting more regularly.

What are they feeding those young guys in Texas?

The predator? I think the police need to be notified about him. This sounds like a dangerous situation. I'm glad that he was fired, even if for the sexual harrassment alone. He should not be allowed in the store anymore. Because their names and addresses are public knowledge, I wouldn't think that the boss was breaking any confidences by telling you about him. I sure wouldn't want my under age daughter working with him.

I used to have a cat named Smokey. He lived to a ripe old age of 18. Smokey and Simber will probably grow to tolerate each other, from different areas of the house.

1:25 AM  
Blogger Pepe said...

Ick... reminds me of the situation I went through at work a few months ago - I've got a predator in my classroom and there's not a single thing I can do about it because of privacy laws and his own right to move about at will because it's a college environment.

All you can do is to keep an eye out and plan a few escape routes if he ever gets out of control. If the management had a way to handle him in the store, they would have done it by now so it seems that their hands are tied as well until he actually does something.

9:14 PM  
Blogger ~Nutz said...

I *heart* Buggy stories!

Happy new year!

1. You should just admit you are a cougar! Rowr!

2. Creepy.

3. *scritches for Smokey & Simber*

5:27 PM  
Blogger Buggy said...

We had to let Smokey go.
She was miserable.
We tried for 7 days and then Steve took her back to his work.
Katie and I were sad, but Smokey was soooo happy to be back where she was comfortable.

It made me think about what we think is good for animals. We think that being a Pet is the best thing, but maybe for some it isn't.
She is a stray again, but Hubby still feeds her and she is warm and petted by people ( on her terms).
He cares for her everyday, but she wasn't meant to be a pet, she wasn't happy here and we couldn't force her to be.

I took some pictures and if they turned out I'll post them.

I'm sad to lose her, but Hubby says she is so happy, and that's what is important.

9:25 PM  
Blogger Puffy said...

Makes sense. Animals and people have different wants, needs, and values. You did what was best for her.

9:29 PM  
Blogger Buggy said...

Thanks Puffy
I needed someone to understand, I was feeling badly about it.
I wanted to take care of her, but maybe she was okay without me.

9:58 PM  
Blogger kim (weltek) said...

Having a ring on your finger also makes you more attractive. Young men have been reading their sister's Cosmo and think the married cougars want to get in their pants. Idjuts. Speaking of serving them lunch, I always see the Glad bags commercial with "Erriiica!" the grand-pumba of something or another...blah blah..and wonder if she's wearing purple pants. :-) It's my Buggy commercial.

Chris is a big believer in force-snuggling cats. It's worked miracles over the years on stray cats.

11:44 AM  
Blogger kim (weltek) said...

Oh-and call your local probation & parole office and talk to a supervisor (it sounds like the agent may be a dumbass if the guy thinks it's "fun," so go directly to the supervisor). It sounds like this guy is clearly violating his parole (sex offenders in WI aren't allowed to hang out at shopping areas period, and cannot work with minors).

11:47 AM  
Blogger yvonne said...

I'm sorry you had to let go of Smokey. I do agree with Puffy that it is best to care for her in the way she is most comfortable and with your hubby with her at work I know she will be fine.

Maybe one day she can come back home. *hugs for all*

Great advice from Kim on calling the probation office. The perv sounds very dangerous. Be careful.

7:38 AM  

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