Bug Soup

A Broth of Rambling Thoughts ( with some morsels of 'silly' thrown in for flavor)

Friday, June 06, 2008

Poor Neglected Soup

So I got tagged

I'm supposed to do some stuff, and post some things, and there are rules about this stuff, ( RULES!) There is a set protocol to this stuff dontchaknow.

I am a rebel ( Ha! As if! )
I will follow no rules, ( here me be tough?) but I will post some things because Wheezy tagged me weeks ago ( and I love her) and I feel guilty about neglecting my bloggy place for long, there is dust in here.

6 things you didn't know about me

1. Both of my parents are dead, as are all my grandparents. I still have a stepDad, but most of my history is gone. I don't feel like I am old enough to have both my parents dead. I am the 'older ' generation in my family, in my early 40 's, I am the eldest. My siblings call me to remember their past.

2. I have beautiful feet. I am not into feet, have no special 'thing' about them, but mine are lovely. Well shaped and smooth with nicely porportioned nails and toes. They are quite pretty, and I take very good care of them.
They are unfortunately HUGE feet for my height. Size 9 1/2 feet on a 5'4" frame.
I have to be careful about clunky shoes so I don't look like a clown.

3. I hate yard work. There, I said it. I admire people who can make beauty with plants , make art in their yards, but I can't. I don't have any living houseplants either, and I've tried to do those more times than I can count. I kill them. Plants don't take to me.
I have 3 lucky bamboo stalks in water that are doing well, but they have only been in my house for 2 months, I don't expect to have them very long.

Six Things???? I have to do six?!!!

4. I LOVE my hair! I had my hair done today and I am positively obsessed with it! I had some highlights done for Summer, and my stylist ( God Bless Lynn, she is the BEST! Even though she is now a whole county and 40 minutes away on a Hwy I hate to drive) talked me into going a little lighter with a little more. I'm blonde highlighted! I love it!
There is just something about feeling really cute.
It's kinda shallow , but whatever, I LIKE it!
My Mother used to tell us to " Stand up straight and put on some lipstick" , whenever we were feeling down. Ha, like that would solve all our troubles.
But you know, looking good does make you feel a little better, and making an effort helps.
I know when I'm depressed I don't care how I look, it's the first symptom.
So no matter what happens this weekend, my hair looks fabulous! I am fiercely cute today!

5. I used to write bad poetry, lots of it. Maybe it wasn't totally awful, as far as poetry goes, but it was sappy as hell. Sometimes I want to write poetry again, but then I read my old stuff, and decide against it. Oh, and I have several horrible poems in a folder written to an old boyfriend who is now a " friend" on my MySpace page. I could curl up and die of embaressment over those.
But know I should write again, I have stories floating around in my head, and maybe some poems too.

( SIX? I have to do 6 things that people don' t know about me? Okay, but only because I was 'tagged', and it won't be pretty)

6. My marriage sucks. Bad.
Has for a long time, probably will for a long time more because I can't see a way out that won't leave me with nothing and my kid more damaged.
I can determine exactly when it went off track. I have been trying to fix it for years.
When your spouse has lifesaving brain surgery, for awhile you are just grateful they are alive , and you count your blessings and pretend they are the same person they were before.
And is it his fault that what you got back wasn't the same? He thinks he is the same.
Shouldn't you just be happy that he can walk and speak and work, because they told you he wouldn't do any of those things? They told you he probably wouldn't be functional at all, you signed the forms , all those papers that said they were just gonna try to save him, excusing the Doctors for the outcome, lucky if he lived after the brain hemorage.
My worst fear was to be married to a vegitable, but instead I'm married to a mean parinoid asshole who drinks too much and is hateful to me and our child.
I should be grateful instead of complaining.
But his personality is different. This is not the man I married.
It's not my fault , it's not his ( though he is better sober, he still thinks he is 'claravoiant' and the CIA is montering his computer) but what do I do now?

So I tag anyone who hasn't been tagged yet.
There were rules and things, but I don't care what they were.

You're it!


Blogger Tummy said...

Buggy, you SHOULD write poetry. Write for yourself. I write crappy poems that I share with exactly one person. The one person that I know will never say they are as crappy as I know they are. But it's a good release, a release made even better because someone else reads it, don't ask me why, it just is.

You're a good person in a crappy situation. I can't imagine how I would feel or think or do if it were I.


10:22 AM  
Blogger Bravie said...

You had me at good feet. You may not know this about me but I am a foot person. I have a huge foot fetish (non sexual) and have my entire life. In fact, Michelle knows that if she had ugly feet, I would not be able to share a life with her. Yes, I am THAT shallow. *grin*
I hug you for the rest and I am very sorry that you are in this situation. I hope there is someone who you can talk to. A good therapist perhaps? *big hugs*

11:25 AM  
Blogger Buggy said...

I'm sorry.
I meant to post something funny and light, but I don't know where my funny went.
Lately I have been quite sad.

I love the pretty feet too, Bravie!
Just not in a sexual way.
My Mom had the prettiest feet ever, like mine only a perfectm pretty size 7.
I loved her feet.

My Hubby has ugly feet, and he won't wash them, even when we beg.

I usually power through the bad stuff, and hold my head up, but lately, I've been down, and it's hard.

Sorry for such a bummer entry, I dfidn't mean it be be.

And Carey is right, I need a therapist.


8:25 PM  
Blogger Kimmah said...

I heart you!!!!!

10:22 PM  
Blogger Tummy said...

*whacks buggy You are not plastic enough to be happy ALL the freaking time. Isn't that what blogs are for?....to let all your friends play cheap therapists :) *smooch

11:48 AM  
Blogger Silvergirl said...

I have pretty feet, too, but my hair is another story. Well, it's just average, but I want to do something different, and I'm stumped about it. Grow it out longer? Get it cut shorter?

Sorry about the bad marriage. That can be so difficult.

I think each of the snarky bitches should send you a lipstick in the mail. Wouldn't that cheer you up a bit?

2:17 AM  
Blogger lights said...

*hugs* I'm gonna be a rebel and just comment on your six (yes 6) things.

I often feel guilty that both of my parents are alive and healthy. All three of my SILs have lost both their parents.

Other than a couple of crooked toes, my feet are kinda cute. I think they are anyway.

I'm the queen of yardwork around here. I really enjoy cutting the grass and playing in my flowerbeds at the cottage. If I had more time (and money) I could really get into it.

Not so in love with my hair right now. I just got highlights and I think that Shelley gave me too much blonde this time. She may have left it a little too long as well. I agree about feeling good when you look good.

I don't understand poetry but I love, love, love reading all of your words. You should write more.

Sorry Bug, hon. I wish things were better for you. Remember that you have a huge support network here. We love our Bug.

5:37 PM  
Blogger Buggy said...

Ya'll made me cry, but in the good way.

I don't know what I'd do without my HEART friends!

Ya'll keep me going!
Thanks for reminding me that I,m not alone

12:32 AM  
Blogger Willow said...

Well if it helps you at all, I have ugly feet, sick looking hair, also write horrible poetry, have a neurotic mom to loan out and bad dating stories.

If you have pretty feet and hair, you are hitting some high notes!

I agree, blogging is cheap therapy.

1:16 PM  
Blogger Puffy said...

I'd like to see you write poetry and short stories and more. You have a beautiful way of expressing yourself.

I'm sorry about your marriage problems. Hopefully, we here can help, at least give you an outlet. Sometimes an outlet is the only thing we have and it can help a whole lot. *hugs*

*peers closely* My, oh my, your hair and feet do look nice today.

10:57 PM  

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