Updates and Shit

I am sorry I have negelcted my Soup, and the friends that read it.



My armpit lump shrunk, and then dissapeared. Yay!
I am not sure if my meds are working, I take them.
There are things that have happened that should have knocked me into bed, that didn't, so maybe they are helping .

I can't say I feel positive about my life situation, but I haven't hidden too much.
The neighbor gets me out, I get dressed most days.
I got a job.
( Oh whoa, before you get happy for me, it's a shit job, it's like my old job for less money)


I kept saying " The PERFECT Job for me is mine!!"
Nothing.
I was Positive, I tried.

The only job that kept getting offered to me was my old retail job, everytime I went there to shop.
I need money.
I need a new car ( a newer car anyway) because mine has no A/C and 140K miles and is ready to die.

I kept being told I was second choice for the good jobs. They liked me, but chose someone else.
Pfft, fuck that!

So I caved.
I did what I always do, I settled for less than I am worth.
And once again my lack of education trumps my skills.


Whatever.

I won't make enough money to leave my Husband.
So maybe the Universe thinks I shouldn't.


I'll just keep saying " I'm Sorry" to my Kid when he gets verbally abusive.
I'll just keep checking his truck for bottles of booze.
I'll just keep taking my meds, even though I know it isn't me that's fucked up.
I'll just keep questioning my every life choice.

(SHIT!
I just lost half my post!
I hate this stupid laptop!
I'll try to remember what I said.)

I won't be working nights, ever. I promised Katie I would be home for her.

I love you all, I am sorry I am not more interactive.
I mean to be.