Bug Soup

A Broth of Rambling Thoughts ( with some morsels of 'silly' thrown in for flavor)

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Updates and Shit

I am sorry I have negelcted my Soup, and the friends that read it.



My armpit lump shrunk, and then dissapeared. Yay!
I am not sure if my meds are working, I take them.
There are things that have happened that should have knocked me into bed, that didn't, so maybe they are helping .

I can't say I feel positive about my life situation, but I haven't hidden too much.
The neighbor gets me out, I get dressed most days.
I got a job.
( Oh whoa, before you get happy for me, it's a shit job, it's like my old job for less money)


I kept saying " The PERFECT Job for me is mine!!"
Nothing.
I was Positive, I tried.

The only job that kept getting offered to me was my old retail job, everytime I went there to shop.
I need money.
I need a new car ( a newer car anyway) because mine has no A/C and 140K miles and is ready to die.

I kept being told I was second choice for the good jobs. They liked me, but chose someone else.
Pfft, fuck that!

So I caved.
I did what I always do, I settled for less than I am worth.
And once again my lack of education trumps my skills.


Whatever.

I won't make enough money to leave my Husband.
So maybe the Universe thinks I shouldn't.


I'll just keep saying " I'm Sorry" to my Kid when he gets verbally abusive.
I'll just keep checking his truck for bottles of booze.
I'll just keep taking my meds, even though I know it isn't me that's fucked up.
I'll just keep questioning my every life choice.

(SHIT!
I just lost half my post!
I hate this stupid laptop!
I'll try to remember what I said.)

I won't be working nights, ever. I promised Katie I would be home for her.

I love you all, I am sorry I am not more interactive.
I mean to be.

13 Comments:

Blogger Puffy said...

*big hugs* I don't know what to say, except that we're here for you, to vent, to rant and rave, to express joy, and to share life's ups and downs. One thing I'm sure of is that things will get better. Keep plugging along. *hugs again*

1:21 AM  
Blogger Breezy said...

*big hugs*

12:45 PM  
Blogger kim (weltek) said...

I'm sorry things are looking particularly sunny right now. You're in my thoughts, especially the ones where we hug and eat a lot of ice cream.

12:20 PM  
Blogger Silvergirl said...

I was thinking of you recently and then I thought to check your blog. I'm glad to hear the lump has shrunk.

I'm glad you've gotten a job. It might be good, even if it's not exactly what you want. I only hope you can grin and bear it.

Love you! *smooch*

5:42 PM  
Blogger MM said...

{{hugs}} Hang in there Buggy. Things will get better. Nothing stays the same forever, good or bad.

1:11 AM  
Blogger Willow said...

I wish you lived closer so I could help you in some way.

11:03 AM  
Blogger dragonflies said...

*hugs* bday twin. Know that we love you, and are proud of you for getting up each day and being there for your daughter.

Keep trying. You will find the right job. Just keep trying.

And keep talking to us.

6:00 PM  
Blogger Tummy said...

You'd better not have quit looking for the "Perfect" job! I'm close enough that I WILL drive down and kick your butt.

*great big slobbery smooches

7:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

*big hugs*

And I agree with others who say don't stop looking.

9:07 AM  
Blogger Bravie said...

*sigh* *hugs* *smooch*<--not in a homosexual way. Unless that will help, there's nothing wrong with that. *grin*
*poot*<--I leave these for those who I love. :)

6:03 PM  
Blogger lights said...

I'm sorry EBug. Love you. *hugs*

9:59 PM  
Blogger yvonne said...

*big squeezy hug* I love you, honey. You are strong and smart and loving and worthy. Hang in there.

7:25 AM  
Blogger Bobdechemist said...

hmph!

I was all happy to get a buggy sighting on my blog and now I see things are being sucky for you. That doesn't seem fair. Life should be good for buggy.

11:24 AM  

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