Bug Soup

A Broth of Rambling Thoughts ( with some morsels of 'silly' thrown in for flavor)

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Story Time

I know it's been awhile since I updated.
Hell, I know it's been awhile since I interacted in a real way in the Bloggy world.

I can't wait to give ya'll every single teeny tiny detail of my life for the last 5 months!

Ha! Not really.

I do have a new computer! Yay!
Things have been good, and things have been bad, and life is life, and ya'll know I am okay.
I hope everyone is well.
I thought I'd tell some stories.


There is this little store I go to when I don't want to drive all the way ( 5 miles) into town to the real grocery store. It's a small grocery, they don't always have everything I need, but it's got milk and eggs and soda and cat food and paper towels, you know, all the basics.
I can quickly pick up what I need for dinner, and it's less than a mile from my house.
So there is this new guy there the other day bagging my stuff. He's got to be in his 70's, though he looks very healthy. Nice guy, we visit, chit chat. I liked him very much.

While he is loading my stuff in the car he tells me that just last year, at this time, he and his wife were spending 3 months in Europe, they visited 5 countries.
He said, " and this year, I am bagging groceries and sweeping floors"

Now he didn't say it all sad sacky like, he was just very matter of fact, like, " it is what it is"

But it made me think.
And as I drove home I wondered if they regretted spending that money on the trip to Europe, or if they were grateful they did it while they could.
I hope that either way, it was a wonderful trip.


So I work with this woman who never smiles.
Everyone tries to be nice to her, but she is known as "The BITCH".
I got over my need to be liked by her a long time ago. I still say "GoodMorning" to her, I am still nice, but I gave up on getting any response from her. She is seriously not friendly, ever.

A couple weeks ago I think I got some insight into why she never smiles.
Let me recreate the scene.
It is me and the BossMan, and the GrumpyWoman reorganizing the snack ailse, I am leaving as my shift is over, and I am tired.

Boss- So Buggy, we are stacking you

Buggy- Me?

Boss- The nuts! You're nuts, right? We're stacking the canned nuts

Buggy - Ha ha, you are so funny

Boss- Well I didn''t say you were a "nutcase", but you are a little nutty

Buggy- Maybe I am nuts, I'm still here and I'm still smiling

Boss- Everybody smiles here

*long pause where both me and the boss look at Grumpy Woman*

Grumpy Woman- I don't smile, it causes wrinkles

Buggy- What? Really? ( and I am thinking "could that really be the reason she never smiles?")

Boss- I heard it takes more muscles to frown than to smile

Grumpy Woman- I don't frown, I don't smile, I keep my face neutral



So it got me to thinking that maybe she isn't the meanest rudest bitch I know, maybe she is just totally vain. Totally vain in a creepy way.

I think, there is nothing prettier than a smile, a face can only be improved by a genuine smile.
The homliest face looks better when it is wearing happiness. And doesn't that affect your mood? To never smile? Sometimes I smile when I don't feel like it just to trick myself into feeling better.

I've thought about that exchange since, and I've watched her since, and she does keep her face nuetral, and she doesn't respond in a normal way.

So being the good person that I am, I do everything I can now to make her laugh.
( And trust me I will say some outrageously weird shit to her, just to watch her face twitch)

I don't need her to like me, I don't care if she likes me ( she's shallow and mean anyway), but making her laugh when she doesn't want to move the muscles in her face?
That is some fun shit right there.

The Boss and I had a conversation a few days after that, it went like this.

Buggy - Oh no! Don't smile, you could get wrinkles!

Boss- *laugh* I know! That was weird right?

Buggy- Oh yes, that was weird. I thought only I thought that was weird.

Boss- No, it was weird.

Buggy- It was!

Boss- Why would someone not want to smile?

Buggy- It explains alot

Boss- oh yea it does


Wake me up when December ends.
I said last year that I would never work retail during the Holidays again, and when I went back to the store in August it never occurred to me that I'd be here again.
Here I am, in retail, in December.
It's not the customers, it's not the store, it's me.

It's all around me everyday, the decorations, the music, the happy people, the gift buying, the holiday foods ( OMG , I love the holiday food aisle!!)
And yet, I feel like I missed it.
In retail, Xmas starts around September, and I never feel like I have a handle on it personally.

In my own life I scramble, and never catch up. I always feel off balance.

December is Birthday month in my family.
My Brother is the 3rd, my Sister is the 11th, add that together you get my Mom on the 14th, my Husband is the 16th, our Anniversay is the 7th ( Pearl Harbor Day and my Aunt's Birthday and the day our half-sister died), my Mother-in-Law's Birthday is the 5th ( the anniversary of my Mother's passing) and various other stuff.
Iwas sick all week.
I missed calling my Sister on her Birthday.
I didn't mean to, I thought about her all day, but she didn't know that.
She was also sick, and alone, and December is hard for us, it's the Mom month.
I meant to send her a gift, and I didn't. I didn't get it done, and I feel awful because she felt alone. I didn't even call her that day.

She's my first Baby, my Baby Sister.
My Deena!
I suck!
( Please send my Deenie warm Birthday thoughts!)

December ( Part 2)

I miss my Mom

Saturday in The Park!

Having my Computer back is awesome!
I love my games, and my new system plays the greatest game ever!
If you haven't played Roller Coaster Tycoon, you are missing out!
And RCT 3!! You can ride the rides!
RCT is a simulation game, you build your own Rollercoaster park. You lay the paths, you build the food courts, you put in plants and flowers , and benches and trash cans, and rides!
You hire janitors ( you decide what they wear) and Mechanics ( to fix your rides), you set prices and place potties, and rule the whole thing.
I LOVE it!
I hide in it.
I liked RTC and RTC 2 and in RTC 3 I can name a peep after my hubby and watch him get sick riding the Coasters! It's awesome!
It touches the part of me that wants to be a total control freak.

A Wonderful Life

I never saw the movie " It's a Wonderful Life" til I was 30.
I now try to watch it every year.
I always get something different out of it.
I own it on DVD, but I always watch it on TV.
It's a "Holiday" thing for me.
I always hope that someone was touched by me, that someone had their life changed by something I did or said.
I like the idea that we all have influence over the lives of those around us.
I know I sometimes screw up in big ways, I like to think I do good in small ways that have big impact.
And Jimmy Stewart is totally crushable in that movie!

*And dance by the light of the Moon*

And They All Lived Happily Ever After

I hope to interact again before the new year, but if I don't , I wish you all well and safe!
I wish you and your loved ones health and happiness!
May your Holidays be warm and memorable, may your Loves be long.


Blogger Silvergirl said...

Hey Bug! Thanks for the loverly stories. I laughed quite a bit, and I needed that right now.

Happy holidays, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and Happy Birthday to Deena.


PS - I will post a family picture on my blog tonight. Come over, if you have the time between RCT games. *laugh*.

12:32 AM  
Blogger lights said...

Yay! I'm so happy when I come here and find a Buggy update!

Just for the record? I would read ever single teeny tiny detail of your life for the past 5 months and would love every word.

I was thinking of you last week.

6:16 PM  
Blogger Tummy said...

Yay! A Buggy update :) I'm happy when you update.

That whole non-smiling face wrinkling thing was weird. At least you have a boss that acknowledges weirdness and thinks you're a nut :)

Happy Holidays Buggy. Happy Birthday to Deenie. May you and all your loved ones have a good End of the Year couple of weeks, and start the New Year off right!


Now I'm off to peruse SG's family pic!

5:45 PM  
Blogger kim (weltek) said...

*holiday hugs* I'm so glad you updated. I think about you a lot and hope you find smiles every day. And if that means you are wrinkly like a 90 year old, that's ok.

12:02 PM  
Blogger Silvergirl said...

You know, I've just met a woman a couple of months ago who is in her 70's maybe. She has totally white hair, and many wrinkles, but you don't really notice that much. She has so much personality, and is so friendly. That is true beauty!

Oh, and I love her white hair.

3:00 AM  
Blogger Buggy said...

I got comments!!
Silver- First off, love the family photo, you all look wonderful and on a shallow note, I totally love your coat!
About the older lady with the personnality, I love the senior ladies that come into my store, I love the ones with the jewelry and the lipstick, they are aren't "old" they have just lived longer than the rest of us.
White hair and a beautiful smile is beauty! ( wrinkles and all)

Your comment reminded me of this woman I saw the other day.
She looked like my Mom, only she was about 80, and my Mom wasn't even 60 when she passed. She looked like my Mom if my Mom had lived that long. ( does that make sense?) And she didn't really look my like grandmother, she looked like my Mom, only aged.
It was startling for a moment, I felt tears, and I walked away really quickly, because I didn't want to talk to her. I didn't want to cry.

But I love the senior ladies, I visit with them all the time, I want to be like them! ( The ones with the jewelry and the lipstick and the nice scarves!)
I want smile lines!
What kind of good life doesn't leave lines on your face?

Hey Lightsie!
Got your card! Made me smile!
Hope you guys are well, I loved the picture of Holly!
I think of you almost everyday, the glass bugs you sent me are on my fridge and they always make me happy.

Love you Tummy!
My neighbor!
I send you warm thoughts, and send my love and prayers to Bre all the time. So hard to have your Baby so far away this time of year.
I hope when my kid is off into the world that I handle it as well as you have.
*Waves towards Okla!*

You are in Texas , right now!!!
*Waves East towards Longview!*
I am so glad that our weather will be nice for you ( I ordered it special)
And I hope to not have wrinkles like a 90 yr old , til I'm 100.


Love you all ( and everyone who reads me)
Wish you Safe, Wish you Well
Glad to have you in my lie!

7:20 PM  
Blogger Silvergirl said...

Buggy! That coat is actually a faux fur cape. It is fur on one side and is reversible. I wear the fur on the inside when it's really cold outside. Many people comment about it whenever I wear it. I've had it for 4 years, and I paid $90 for it at Burlington Coat Factory.

I can even throw it in the washer when it gets dirty. I just can't throw it in the dryer, though. It would melt the vinyl side.

1:13 AM  
Blogger yvonne said...

Hiya Bug! Good to see an update, and good to see your voice again. I think of you often.

December is hard. My mom died two years ago today (the 19th). In some ways it seems like just yesterday, and yet it also seems so long ago. Two years! Wow.

*hugs the bug* Hoping you have a lovely and happy holiday.

5:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Like everyone else has said, I too am happy for an update. It's kind of fun to check and check and check and then "wham!" There it is.

*december hugs*

8:24 AM  
Blogger Jen said...


I love Buggy updates. :)

I went through a phase where I played Roller Coaster Tycoon every chance I got. It is a fun game! I haven't played it in awhile though, I think I burnt myself out. Heh. Maybe I'll have some time over the holidays to play and I'll think of you. :)

9:10 AM  
Blogger Puffy said...

I missed me some Buggy posts. You have such a way with words...

Happy Birthday Deena!

December must be overwhelming with all those special occasions and the busiest time of the year at work.

Yvonne's post made me realize just how long we've all been "together."

*hugs to both of you*

I wish you and your family a happy and joyful holiday season!

8:44 PM  
Blogger arkie said...

Merry Christmas, buggy!

10:14 PM  
Anonymous Deena said...

Thanks for everyones Birthday wishes. Very thoughtful!!
And Erica, I know you didnt forget. Just a sensitive time for me....I know it is for you too. Im over it. There is always next year and you better call me first thing the morning of my next birthday bitch. LOL :)

11:57 PM  

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