Bug Soup

A Broth of Rambling Thoughts ( with some morsels of 'silly' thrown in for flavor)

Sunday, April 03, 2005

My Hubby Left Me

For a JOB!
He lives in hotel rooms now, for 3 weeks at a time, then home for a few days, before back to work.
So far from where we were.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't enjoying how much he misses us.
This job has done something nothing else has.
We miss each other, we appreciate what we have again.
You'd think with all we've been through...

In the last 5 years...
*We've moved
*Hubby had brain surgery to repair a hemorage due to an anyersm ( he almost didn't survive, and had difficult months of recovery)
*We had legal troubles ( which drained our finances)
*He lost his job
* My Mom came to live with us after being dignosed with terminal cancer
* We went 3 months without any income at all, drained our savings and cashed in our 401K
*We came close to breaking up ( closer than I have wanted to admit, even to myself)
* We had houseguests (family, not fun)
* Mom died in my arms
* My heart broke
* Our utilities were shut off ( at various times)
* Steve was suffering from depression, but wouldn't admit it

And all these things should have brought us closer as a family, but they didn't. I could feel our foundation shaking apart.
This job takes him away from us, yet makes him appreciate us. Makes us all appreciate what we've been through.
Over the last 2 years I felt like I'd lost everything, except Steve and Katie, and even that was shakey.
All the financial security is gone.
No Savings Account, no Health Insurance, no steady income.
I've felt like I'm on a tightrope, and I just know I'm gonna fall off.

Steve's new job may save us.

Already I feel hopeful, and hope has not been something I've been familier with in a long time.
I've been so afraid to Hope.
Thank goodness I remember what it's like to be a 'glass half full' person.
My glass is half full now, and I'm waiting for a refill.